sampling that on purpose. As soon as he can, he unplugs, and I do the same. Even though I donât know him, not even sure if I like him, I already miss him. You donât know what itâs like to be alone until youâve had someone inside your head.
And that, you see, is why so many pilots and jumpers wind up sleeping together. Itâs too much on the sensesâthat mutual stimulation needs an outlet, and there comes a point when nobody else will do. You want to share your body the way youâve shared your mind, so many times, and the sex is better, stronger, and so intense.
Some pairs do it while jacked in, not while jumping, of course, but in the cockpit, joined both ways, writhing together, ecstasy washing back and forth in a closed circuit, constantly driving things higher. It becomes its own addiction after a while, and Iâve known pilots who simply canât perform unless theyâre with a jumper.
Anything else is just too vanilla.
CHAPTER 5
Like he knows what Iâm thinking, March flicks me a scathing look as he signals the crew itâs safe to unstrap from the harnesses and remove helmets. While they report back, I decide that doing me, jacked in or otherwise, is the last thing on his mind. Thatâs good; itâs a complication I neither want nor need. I stretch, conscious of no more wear and tear than a residual headache, like a day-old hangover.
Iâve had worse.
Leaning forward, I take a look at our updated position on the nav charts, and yeah, we came out right on target. Lachionâs less than a two-hour cruise, and I settle back to watch. Donât know what I think Iâll learn, but heâs good at what he does; sure, capable hands manipulating the controls, attentive to various readings. Stuff I donât understand, to be honest. Iâm not a pilot, although Iâve spent almost half my life on board ships.
âGood jump,â he says finally.
And itâs a surprise to hear his voice, different, more forceful. Then I could sense his uncertainties and constant grief. Now heâs all steel and implacable resolve again.
âI donât think it was my fault,â I blurt, before Iâve formed the words inside my own head. But I need to say it. I need someone to believe me. Donât know whether March is that someone, but I need some of the weight off my soul.
He cuts me a sharp look, a full ten seconds away from the control panel. âMatins IV?â As if thereâs any doubt what I mean.
âYeah.â I donât look at him. Instead I stare out into straight space, nothing too fascinating there for one accustomed to wildfire. But itâs better than measuring his expression, doubting my own credibility.
âWe donât think so, either,â he answers, neutral.
Something in his tone tells me heâs speaking more for others than himself. Having seen inside him, I can say with authorityâMarch is a man, who, if asked to capture the legendary pink orangutan of New Inglaterra, would devise a foolproof plan to catch said beast and equip himself with all necessary accoutrements, and never mind the fact that he doesnât believe in the thing. So, no, he doesnât necessarily believe me. But that doesnât matter to him because heâs been asked to deliver me, and Iâm starting to wonder why.
âWhy me?â I know I donât need to clarify.
One of the advantages to the pilot/jumper bond is that even when you jack out, you carry certain awareness with you, remembrance of how your partnerâs mind works. Heâll know what Iâm asking although he could choose to be an ass and feign incomprehension. I respect the fact that he doesnât.
âYouâre pretty old,â he tells me, not unkindly. Iâll be thirty-three this year. âAnd youâve logged over five hundred successful jumps and more new charts for the Corp than any navigator ever. There are people who