Grime Read Online Free PDF Page B

hand.
    Of course I don't leave. Instead I get out of
the car and go back inside. I can hear everyone talking in the
hallway, and I wait to see if it's about me. It isn't.
    "He really wants these standalone sinks,"
Val's saying, "but that means no cupboard space." Ah, the chronicle
of Billy and the downstairs bathroom renovation. She's been
bringing it up all day. Seems like one of those things couples
fight about that, to outsiders, appears completely stupid, but when
you're in the middle of it seems like a metaphor for everything
wrong in your relationship. Ben and I have had our share of
those.
    The thing is, we haven’t had a fight since I
started cheating on him. Happiness is a red flag.
    I think about what I said to Jamie earlier,
that if people realize how shitty their situation is they should
change it. What a fucking hypocrite I am. I really do just talk
without saying anything.
    Fuck them. Fuck them for getting under my
skin and making me feel like this. It's my sisters, it's this
house. It's all the residual shit, bubbling to the surface. If I
hadn't come here I wouldn't be so angsty and insecure. I'm a
teenager all over again, and it's all because of this damn house
and those damn women. In real life I'm better than this.
    Part of me wants to show them, to prove it to
them, to rub their faces in how absolutely completely perfectly
okay I am.
    I cross the threshold and they all glance
over at me.
    “Good, you’re here. We were just talking
-”
    “About what?”
    “About whether we should call it a night and
come back in the morning, or power through and just get this
done.”
    I pull a trash bag out of the box and peel it
open. “I say power through. We’re almost done.”
    “Yeah, that’s what we were thinking, too. But
we wanted to make sure you were okay with it.”
    “Why wouldn’t I be?”
    “No reason. We were just extending the
courtesy of asking you,” Jamie rolls her eyes. “Problem is, since
they shut off the power to the house and it’s going to be dark
soon, we’ll be blind. There’s a rental place down the road holding
work lights and a generator for us.”
    “Let’s do it.” The sooner this whole thing is
over with, the better.
    The trailer is only a third full, so we
unhitch it so Jamie can take the truck to pick up the lights. Ethan
offers her a hand, then Gwen asks me if I’ll come with her to pick
up dinner for everyone. “Remember that barbecue place down the way?
We used to eat there all the time when we were kids.”
    “It’s still in business?”
    “Of course. It’s an institution. Want me to
drive?”
    I look at Ethan’s little red car and shake my
head. “Nah, we’ll take mine.”
    We’re only in the car twenty seconds before
she asks, “What’s wrong with you?”
    “Nothing.”
    “Mitch.”
    “I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.” None
of the houses on this street look familiar. They can’t have all
been torn down and replaced, can they? I mean, a few, sure. But not
all of them. None of this is familiar. “Did you guys tell Val?”
    “Tell her what?” Gwen asks. I don’t answer.
She knows what. She sighs. “No, we didn’t say anything. What would
be the point?”
    “I don’t know. Just to throw one more log on
the ‘Mitch is the Family Fuck-Up’ fire.”
    I can feel her eyes boring into the side of
my face, but I don’t look at her. “Is that what you think we think
of you? Seriously? Is that how you think we see you? Or is it just
how you see yourself?”
    “No. Not seriously. We’re a whole family of
fuck-ups and I don’t think I’ve done anything in particular to
single myself out.”
    “Jesus Christ, you’re a mean son of a bitch
sometimes.” She’s speaking in that tone people use when they’re
trying to keep the mood light. Somehow that hits me harder than if
she had spat those same words at me with vitriolic fervor.
    “Sorry. Like I said, I’m just tired.”
    “We’re all tired. We’ve all been working just
as hard