house, I realized that it felt different, too.
Only Bear was the same.
The silence was broken by a knock at the door.
“At least let us give you a ride back, instead of getting on that motorcycle,” my father said.
I almost said yes. Merle loved riding on his bike, but I still wasn’t a big fan.
Something, though, made me pause.
If it was my father who did all that, did I really want him to know where I lived now?
No.
I didn’t.
Merle knocked on the front door again, a little more loudly.
“Okay, okay,” I called down to him.
I turned back to the frozen tableau of my parents.
“I’ll come by soon, okay?” I asked, a small smile on my face.
I didn’t know how they’d react. Apparently everything that had happened in the past few months had changed my parents so much that they were swinging back and forth between acting like my old parents and acting like strangers.
I held my breath, hoping for my parents.
My mother stood up and smiled back, with tears in her eyes.
“I love you,” she said, simply. “Please come back soon.”
She held out her arms to me and I went to them, giving her a quick tight hug.
My father and I exchanged a long look and a wordless hug.
I wish I knew what that look was supposed to mean.
Merle knocked a third time, louder yet, and poor Bear finally realized someone was at the door and barked.
He was getting a lot older. Maybe someone could have been in the house without him noticing. Maybe it wasn’t my father.
I made my way downstairs, my shoes clicking on the hard wood of the stairs. That, at least, was familiar, unchanged.
I opened the door to find Merle and Jackson. Jackson grinned at me, but Merle was wide-eyed and angry-looking.
When he saw me, he relaxed, a little.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come to the door,” I explained. “I had to say goodbye.”
Jackson nodded. “Not a problem.”
Merle, too, nodded, in a more distracted way.
I looked out over their shoulders.
One motorcycle and one car were parked out front. I hadn’t heard the car over the noise from Merle’s bike, I’d thought it was just a little louder than normal.
“I met Merle here so you wouldn’t have to ride a hog,” Jackson said. He elbowed Merle. “Give me the keys, asshole.”
Merle reached into the pocket of his jeans and handed a key to Jackson, but his eyes were on me.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded. I almost burst into tears, but I nodded.
“Very convincing,” Jackson said. “Try practicing in the mirror.”
After a few more awkward moments, we left. I followed Merle to the car and we headed out.
We didn’t speak until we got a few blocks away. Merle pulled over by a city park, the playground deserted.
He looked at me, and I felt a rush of love and protection.
I smiled at him, a real, relieved, heartfelt smile, with none of the fear or worry or doubt that I felt around my parents.
“Are you okay?” he asked, taking my hand.
“No,” I said. I was still smiling, but my eyes burned with unshed tears. “I’m really not.”
“What happened?” he asked.
“Okay, first of all, I am so, so, so sorry for yelling at you,” I said.
He frowned. “I should have been paying more attention,” he said. “I realized that something was wrong, but I was… distracted.”
I nodded.
“We both were,” I said. “No harm done, right?”
He reached out and took my hand.
“I hope not,” he said.
“What’s been going on with you?” I asked. “Why have you been avoiding me?”
He ran his fingers through his hair.
“I haven’t been avoiding you. I’ve been busy. Really busy. I didn’t think you’d wanna hear about it, but there’s been some problems with a gang,” he said.
“I want to hear,” I said, squeezing his hand