Grave Robber for Hire Read Online Free PDF Page A

arm broke. Seemed fitting she’d have hallucinations. This week I bet she’d have the most amazing headache and the best story at bingo.
    The nurse helping me dress suggested I stay in a motel for the night rather than drive home, she even called me a cab. I directed the cab driver to Streak. Although I could have called Lucy, my neighbor’s sixteen year old daughter and animal feeder extraordinaire, to care for my critters, I needed to go home. One handed would make it tricky to drive, but not impossible since Streak’s auto. Feeling sour, freaked out, and a little bit pouty, I wanted my own bed and space.
    The near two hour drive home to Cooroy on the Sunshine Coast sucked. I pulled into my small farm’s carport, hopped out of the car and was greeted by the animal world I called mine. Broken arm, bruised, and cheese grated shoulder, I still needed to feed my hoard. And quacking ducks, clucking chickens, baaing goats and my elderly horses were hungry. My cats and dogs pushed around, vying for the next pat. When I bent to pat them, Asha, my labrador crossed with a sumo wrestler, sniffed my taped shoulder and whined.
    “I’ll be okay old girl. Good as new in a few weeks.”
    I at least have love. I’ve saved all my animals from death row.
    Inside the house, I replaced my boots with Tweety slippers then gobbled two painkillers with a glass of numb-my-pain red wine. I dug out and shoved a frozen meal I keep for times of mayhem, into the oven. Drifting on a drug haze, I walked outside, fell over Misca my black cat, and skated in some fresh fertilizer my elderly horse Tina had left as a gift.
    “ Ewww,” I squealed like a girl because I am one, and slid my slipper on the grass like a dog drags its butt.
    Tina whickered and pulled her lips from her teeth in a horse snigger. My other three horses hung their heads over the fence and hoofed at the ground. An audience applauding the class clown.
    “Stop laughing or I’ll forget to feed you.” Taking three times longer than normal I managed to feed my outside animals with one arm. I worried about Viggo, who wasn’t yet home. Although he didn’t spend all his time with me, most evenings he stayed around if I was home alone and normally if I managed to hurt myself he’d be around to help.
    Inside, I wedged cat food cans against the cupboard door and struggled one handed to rip off the pull tops. Near the cat bowls, I tripped. The contents of the cans made a slurping glop sound and fell onto the floor. “Stuff it. You lot sort it out.”
    Seated at last, I ate my el-blando vegetarian Mexican dinner that smelled of hot cardboard and contained lots of beans and chili and not much else. Next time I’d buy a better brand. Those beans should provide some unpleasant nighttime surprises. Another glass of cheap red wine washed out the dull taste.
    The meds and wine kicked in, making the room go kind of soft and furry sort of like my elderly golden retriever, Gidget, whose gooey soft center eyes expressed her love. Love of being patted.
    Viggo flashed in. Pleased to see him I smiled, but my lips shriveled when I saw he wasn’t fully corporeal. Softly transparent and rimmed in a soft blue light, he appeared ghostly. Oh crap, what had happened?
    “Vig you okay? You’re washed out.”
    He nodded, “Yes.” Then ran his hand over my cast, put a finger under my chin and lifted my face so I’d meet his gaze. “How?”
    “I had a busy afternoon trying to save a lady. It didn’t go smoothly.”
    He grinned and shook his head. “Never do. She live?”
    “Yeah, she’s alive.”
    “Good girl. I good. You rest.” He kissed my forehead and flashed out. Knots I hadn’t realized existed in my stomach, released.
    My family was safe, but what a day
    Three cats lay beside me on the couch. Misca my black cat, pushed her way to sit closest. I finished the last of the wine, dug out two plastic bags to cover my cast with, and drift-walked to the bathroom.
    The plug popped as I pushed it