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allergic to nuts. The nuts made my throat close, and I started to choke.”
    â€œWait—I can explain!” I cried.
    Everyone was staring at me. Kids started to boo and hiss. Some kids flung their candy bars back at me.
    â€œWait! Listen!” I cried. “OWWW!” A Nutty Nutty Bar hit me in the stomach. Candy bars bounced off my back.
    â€œBOOOOOOOO!”
    â€œHISSSSSSSS!”
    â€œJennifer—stop taking pictures!” I shouted. “Stop!”
    She lowered her camera—and ducked as a bunch of Nutty Nutty Bars came sailing at me.
    â€œBOOOOOOOO, BERNIE!” kids shouted angrily.
    Jennifer turned her one blue eye and one brown eye on me. “Bernie,” she said, “is it time for Plan C?”

Chapter 15
A NATURAL SWING
    Birthday fever!
    I could sense it. The whole Rotten School campus was buzzing about my birthday party.
    NOT!
    No one was talking about it. No one was making any big plans. And I didn’t have a Plan C.
    Wednesday afternoon, I ran into April-May June. She was carrying a tennis racket and heading toward the tennis courts across from R.U. Dumm Field.
    I stepped in front of her to keep her from runningaway. She’s always so shy around me.
    â€œGoing to play tennis?” I asked.
    â€œNo. Just swatting flies,” she said. She swung the racket hard.
    I jumped back. “Missed me!” I cried. “You have an awesome backhand. A natural swing.”
    â€œThanks, Bernie,” she said. “The answer is no.”
    â€œBut I didn’t ask you anything,” I said.
    â€œJust in case,” she said. She swung the racket again. This time she clipped the side of my face.
    â€œNo problem,” I said, staggering around on the grass. “I’ll put ice on it. It won’t swell up much.”
    â€œSorry,” she said. “I wasn’t aiming for your face. It just slipped a little.”
    I shook off the pain. “I know you’ve heard about my birthday party,” I said. “Just give me a hint. What kind of birthday present are the girls cooking up for me?”
    â€œI know what I’m giving you,” April-May said.
    I started to pant. My heart popped out of my chest. I had to push it back in.
    â€œReally? What are you getting me?” I breathed.
    â€œA picture of me,” April-May said. “The picturethat will be on my page in the yearbook as Most Popular Rotten Egg.”
    I tossed back my head and laughed. I love a girl with a sharp sense of humor.
    While I had my head tossed back, she flung her chewing gum into my open mouth.
    â€œBernie, are you really having a birthday party?” she asked.
    I gulped down the gum. “Yeah, really,” I said. “It’s going to be the biggest party in the history of birthdays.”
    She squinted at me. “Then how come no one has heard about it?”
    I swallowed. “Because it’s a surprise party?” I uttered weakly.
    She swung her racket again. This time it just brushed my hair back. I watched her run across the grass toward the tennis courts.
    I had a heavy feeling—like a bowling ball—in the pit of my stomach. The party wasn’t happening. Was it time to panic?
    I couldn’t let Sherman Oaks or April-May June win that yearbook page. I knew I was Most Popular.
    But how could I prove it to Blower if the biggest party in birthday party history never happened?
    And then…more bad news.
    Belzer came running across the grass. “Bernie, Headmaster Upchuck wants to see you. Right away.”

Chapter 16
A REMINDER FROM THE UPCHUCK
    â€œDid he have a smile on his face?” I asked Belzer. “I’ll bet he wants to give me the Good Citizen Award for this month.”
    â€œI don’t think he was smiling,” Belzer said.
    I started to shake. Uh-oh. He wasn’t calling me in for doughnuts and chocolate milk.
    What did I do wrong this week? I could only count twenty or thirty things.
    I put a