Gooney Bird Is So Absurd Read Online Free PDF Page A

work. I'll write these down and read them to my mother this evening."
    "They'll make her laugh," Tyrone said. "Especially mine!"
    "Yes, they will." Mrs. Pidgeon looked at the board and chuckled. She read Tyrone's limerick aloud.
There once was a dude named Tyrone
Who frequently talked on the phone.
While having some fun,
He dialed 911,
And they handcuffed him till he was grown.
    "Mine, too!" said Gooney Bird. "Read mine to your mom!"
    Mrs. Pidgeon, still laughing, read Gooney Bird's limerick.
A redhead named Gooney Bird Greene
Wore a hat that was hardly routine.
We couldn't complain,
For it warmed up her brain,
And at least it was perfectly clean.
    "Oh, my goodness!" Mrs. Pidgeon looked at the clock. "You know what? It's lunchtime already. We spent half the morning on limericks! And we never got to our social studies lesson. I wonder if the principal will be mad at us."
    She was looking toward Mr. Leroy when she said that. He didn't hear her. He was looking at his paper and chewing on the eraser at the end of his pencil.
    "I bet the principal is gonna punish us!" Tyrone said loudly. But Mr. Leroy didn't hear him. He was writing again.
    "Earth to Principal!" Malcolm said into his fake microphone. But Mr. Leroy didn't look up.
    "Class, on the count of three," Mrs. Pidgeon suggested, "outdoor voices. One ... two ...three! "
    "MR. LEROY!" the class shouted.
    Finally the principal looked up. "I did it!" he said. "I wrote a limerick!"
    "It's lunchtime, Mr. Leroy," Gooney Bird said, "and I have a dill-pickle-and-tofu sandwich I am eager to eat."
    "May I read my limerick aloud?" the principal asked. The children all nodded. Mrs. Pidgeon looked at the clock again.
    Mr. Leroy stood in front of the class. They could see that his paper was covered with eraser marks and cross-outs and scribbles, just like theirs. But he looked very proud.
A man named John Thomas Leroy
Hated poetry when just a boy.
But the second grade thought
That he ought to be taught.
Soon limericks brought him some joy!
    He bowed, and the class applauded politely. "Gotta run," Mr. Leroy said. "I didn't realize it was so late. I have a lunch appointment with the superintendent of schools." Carefully he folded his paper and put it into his pocket. "I think I'll read him my limerick. He might not be familiar with limericks. I wonder if the school board might vote to make limerick writing part of the curriculum."
    He said goodbye to the class and disappeared through the door. There was a brief silence. Then Felicia Ann, in her quiet voice, said, "Hith wathn't very good, wath it?"
    "Not as good as ours," Barry agreed.
    "He just needs more practice," Beanie suggested. "We've been working on poetry for days, but it's brand new for him."
    "And," Gooney Bird pointed out as she gathered her lunch things, "he probably needs a brain-warming hat."

5.
    Mrs. Pidgeon was almost late for school! It had never happened before. Usually she was there early, preparing sharpened pencils, passing out papers, tidying the room.
    But on this day she came dashing in at the last minute, her face pink and her eyes teary from the cold. She unwound her long blue scarf and hung it with her coat on the hook.
    Then the bell rang. Mrs. Pidgeon scurried to her desk and sat down to catch her breath.
    "Very close to tardy, Mrs. Pidgeon!" Gooney Bird said, with a tsk-tsk sound.
    "I know. I'm sorry. I'm usually here way before you kids."
    "Did your toothbrush fall in the toilet?" Malcolm asked. That had happened once to him.
    "Did you have a very, very hard time choosing what to wear, and you started to cry because you finally had to wear your red sweater, which you absolutely hated?" asked Chelsea. That had happened once to her.
    "Were you stopped by a bus driver asking directions, and it took forever to get him to the right place?" Gooney Bird asked. That had happened once to her.
    Mrs. Pidgeon shook her head and began to answer, but she was interrupted by the intercom. The class all stood and said the