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all, they protested, had been innocent of the charges brought against them.
    But attempted murder! That was a real crime, especially for a woman! Far worse than becoming a street woman in order to eat. The lemonade fizzed inside him and he felt sick. Had she been wicked, then, to commit such a crime?
    ‘She seemed a pleasant young woman,’ Clavell was saying. ‘Gentle, quietly spoken. Not high born, you know, but from good stock I would imagine.’ He paused momentarily. ‘She obviously couldn’t cope with what was in front of her. The voyage was bad enough, especially for a pregnant woman, but she would have needed to be strong to withstand the rigours of Parramatta Female Gaol, which is where she would have gone if she couldn’t find a place as housekeeper;and she would have had to give up her child.’
    He glanced at Ralph. ‘Your mother – Meg, she was strong. She organized the women on the ship; she was the one who complained about the conditions or asked for extra rations and blankets, and I expect your mother saw that and that’s why she handed you over to her. She must have known you’d be safe with her.’
    ‘What are you saying, sir?’ Ralph was bewildered. ‘Are you saying she deliberately gave me up?’
    ‘I’m only guessing of course, I didn’t know what was going on in that hellhole below decks. But she handed you over to Meg and then when they came up on deck—’ He hesitated. ‘You said you wanted to know, so I’m telling you. She didn’t fall overboard. She jumped. She committed suicide.’
    Ma didn’t tell me that. Ralph sat quietly, just staring into space. She only said that the woman who was my mother had drowned; she was trying to protect me from that knowledge. A warmth spread over him and he knew that he must comfort her, tell her that it didn’t matter that she hadn’t given birth to him. She was his mother in every other sense.
    Yet he felt sad that a woman should be so desperate as to take her own life. Rose Elizabeth Scott. What had driven her to that final act? Was it guilt? Who had she tried to kill? Who had been his father and where was he? Was he dead or still living in England?
    His mind was full of confused thoughts and imaginings as he rode out of Parramatta towards home and he was startled as Jack rose up in front of him from his same position on the ground where he had left him.
    ‘Did you find out about your mother?’ Jack loped alongside him.
    ‘I found out more than I wanted to know,’ he said morosely. ‘I found out her name – ’
    Jack put up both hands and protested. ‘Aborigine custom forbids the mentioning of dead people’s names!’
    ‘But you don’t follow native custom,’ Ralph argued, ‘except when you used to go walkabout and miss your school lessons!’
    ‘Sometimes I do,’ Jack retaliated.
    ‘All right, I won’t mention her name to you. But I can tell you that she came from the same part of northern England as my parents did.’
    ‘So they must have known of her or her family! I’ve seen a map of England. It’s a very small place.’
    Ralph shook his head. ‘I don’t think so. It might be small compared to Australia but it’s full of people.’
    Jack sighed. ‘Yes. That’s why they sent so many here and turned my people out.’
    ‘I think I shall go to England, Jack. To try to find out what happened.’
    ‘You can’t change anything. You have only known Meg and Joe as your parents.’
    ‘I need to know,’ he said. ‘You know aboutyour ancestors. You can trace your family back since – what is it? Since Dream Time?’
    Jack nodded. ‘Since Dream Time. But those are our ancestral spirits who were there when the world began.’ He was silent for a while as he ran by Ralph’s side. Then he said, ‘Yes. I can see it is important to you. Come with me tonight. We’ll find a quiet place where you can think.’
    The supper Ralph shared with his parents and Peggy that night was eaten under a strained attempt at normality.