Goddamn Electric Nights Read Online Free PDF Page B

to go back
to our hotel room afterwards and conceive our first child. But then we made
that awful decision… it ruined everything.”
             “What
awful decision?” I said, taking it all in.
             “Super
Happy Fun Time.”
             “Super Happy Fun Time?”
             “Super
Happy Fun Time… it’s a Japanese game show. We went just as members of the
audience, but Teddy’s name was randomly picked to be a contestant.”
             “So,
what? I don’t get it. Did you lose a bunch of money or something?”
             She
didn’t speak. Instead she just pointed her finger to the transformed Teddy.
             “They
turned him into an insect?” I asked.
             “No,
no, no… first they turned him into a panda. He didn’t reach the insect level
until much later.”
             “ Insect level? I’m sorry, I’m not following you…”
             “They
cursed Teddy to live life as each and every creature on Earth. Insects are his
final stage. We have something like two-hundred species left before Teddy is
human again.”
             I
kept a straight face for as long as I possibly could, before eventually
bursting out laughing. It was obvious they took offense.
             “You
never answered me, old man – who the hell are you anyway?” she said, her anger
was coming around again.
             “I’m
your goddamn landlord, that’s who I am.” I answered, “I came up here to try and
figure out just why the hell my building is sinking. Water is everywhere! It’s
at least knee deep down on the first floor. Now, I know it wasn’t like this
when I went to sleep, so I came up here to get some answers.
             She
stood there quietly like a scolded child.
             “So… ??” I nudged.
             “Well…
I was trying to kill Teddy!” She said, dryly.
             My
eyes glowed. “You were trying to kill your fiancé?”
             “Well,
yeah. I have to. If I don’t kill him, then he will live the lifespan of all of
the creatures he must replicate. I can’t wait that long. I’ve been killing
Teddy for about three years now. I’d say in another a month, we’re in the
clear. Teddy will be back and we’ll have our 500 million dollars. Teddy says
that we’re going to buy an island with that money! We’re finally going to be
able to live the good life!” She smiled and kissed Teddy’s twitching leg.
“We’ve worked so hard for this.”
             “Okay,
so let me see if I understand this correctly, you replaced your wooden door
with an airtight steel door so that you could fill the room up with water and
drown him?”
             The
woman nods.
             “Wouldn’t
it just be easier to blow his goddamn brains out with a shotgun?”
             “Well,
there are two problems with that… One – Teddy doesn’t like to die in ways in
which he has to suffer. He prefers painless, instant death. Two – Super Happy
Fun Time requires that we kill Teddy differently each time, so that the viewers
don’t get bored and change the channel.”
             “ Viewers?!”
             The
woman pointed to a camera mounted in the corner of the room. “Oh yes, we have
to keep it on us at all times, or else we don’t get our cash prize.”
             I
looked up at the camera. The device hummed and whirred as the lens zoomed in close
on my face. I stood and stared silently at the floor, trying to digest all of
this peculiar information.
             “I
want in on this...” I said.
             “What?
No, you can’t. Why would you even want to?” she asked.
             “I
want me a piece of that money pie, that’s