Goddamn Electric Nights Read Online Free PDF

building superintendant and all. I tried to
remember if any of the letters that was stuffed in my mail slot had anything to
do with asking permission to install a large metal door. I was certain there
wasn’t.
             I
pounded my fist against that steel door and was surprised to hear that there
was no sound. I beat my fist against the door again, still no sound. It was as
if the whole goddamn room was filled solid with metal!
             My
anger got the best of me as I kicked in the door of the neighboring apartment.
The room was empty, as I mentioned before, all the rooms on the third floor
were vacant except for the one causing all this ruckus. I loaded my shotgun and took aim at the wall shared by the two flats
and blasted a hole about two feet in diameter.
             Much
to my surprise, I was knocked flat on my ass by a 500-gallon water-blast that
shot out from the mouth I had just blown through the wall. Half of the room
filled with ice cold water in an instant. My feet finally found the floor. I
rose up out of the abyss, the water was now as high as
my chest.
             What
I saw in that room, you’d never believe. I threw up my shotgun and aimed it
straight at the terror standing in room 333.
             There
is nothing in life that can prepare a man for what I saw that day. No sir,
nothing t’all . I remember my first thought was that I
was dreaming. Ain’t no way in hell this thing is
real, I thought. I pinched my arms and bruised like a banana, I did. I tell
you, this thing was real! Standing before me, nearly taking up half the entire
span of room 333, was the biggest motherfucking carpenter ant I had ever seen.
             Without
even realizing, I lowered my gun.
             “What
in the hell are you?” I asked it. It didn’t speak. Instead, it gargled and
coughed up bucket-loads of water.
             “Goddamn
it! We were almost there!” I heard a woman shout. She stepped out into view,
dressed head to toe in scuba gear and threw her plastic goggles toward my face.
I ducked. She was quite stunning. Blonde hair, blue eyes. The works. “What the hell, man?! Have you ever heard of knocking?”
             “Uh…
excuse me, ma’am… but just what the hell is that?” I couldn’t get my mind off
of the giant puking insect.
             “Who him? That’s my fiancé! Who the hell are you? Elmer-fucking- Fudd ?” She was
making fun of my shiny bald head and shotgun, I’m sure of it.
             “Fiancé?!” I laughed, “Honey, that there is the biggest
goddamn demon insect there ever was. Surely, you can see that thing standing
next to you?!”
             Her
eyes lowered. “Well, you know, he wasn’t always this way…” She said, sighing.
             “Oh?
Well, just what the hell was he then? A rattlesnake? A… a… a goddamn sperm whale?!” I said as I chuckled.
             “Oh,
he’s been lots of things…” she said, without any emotion. Her
eyes never lifting sight from the ground. She then looked up at the
fifteen-foot creature that stood next to her, eyes wide with love, “but he
started out human, just like you. Just like me.”
             I
dropped my sarcasm. “What do you mean, ‘started out human’?”
             The
woman stared at me for a few seconds before turning back to her lover, the
six-legged demon freak. She looked at him as if she was silently asking
permission. The freak cocked his head in approval. She turned back to me.
             “He
is… cursed. You see, I know this is going to sound pretty unbelievable, but
Teddy… that’s his name, Teddy…” she said, now holding one of the creatures
filthy armored limbs in her tiny perfect little pink hands, “Teddy and I went
to Japan on holiday. We made plans to get married. We even had plans