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happier and more content to do their jobs, more willing to do what is asked of them when they can first bask in my illumination.
    Even when I'm not at a particular Refuge to hold the service, everyone gathers in the Haven where my harnessed Light is streamed brightly for them. My light has the same effect on the people at the Refuge when I'm not there.
    Unless I can figure out a way to replicate my ability, there is no way I can leave The Light forever. There is no way I can leave so many people stranded, in harm's way. Without the resource I give both mentally and physically.
    I scan the Haven as I walk out, and I know the truth deep in my heart. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.

 
    CHAPTER FOUR
     
    Lucy
     
    I wake with Timid sleeping, cradled in my arms. Jax stands at the door; he doesn't look like he slept at all last night. In that, I feel his pain. My sleep was haunted by ghosts of my past. Apple blossoms covered me in my hollow sleep, while I dreamt of lying under the compound tree clutching my mother's hand, begging her to wake.
    I'd rather be awake in misery then to sleep in agony. Timid yawns against my shoulder, then squints as she takes in her surroundings. This will be a bigger shock to her than me. I've had more time to acclimate to the idea of leaving the Refuge. For Timid, she woke yesterday believing she would spend her entire life walking up and down that great hallway. And now we're in a small room, guarded by a man as unlike a Humbleman as possible. I haven't decided if that's a good or bad thing.
    Jax has black hair past his shoulders that falls on the leather jacket he's wearing. He looks what I imagine a rock star to be. Mom used to tell me about the concerts she went to when she was younger, and I can imagine a guy like Jax headlining a band no Humbleman would be caught dead singing in.
    "You need to get up, I'm moving you out of this RV," Jax tells us. We obediently do as we're told. I revert to my old pattern of following orders. It seems old habits die hard no matter how fast I want to lose them. Timid, on the other hand, has never questioned doing anything other than what was commanded of her.
    "Where are we going?" I ask. Anywhere to get me closer to seeing Charlie.
    "The courtyard, follow me."
    We head through the door and into a grassy yard surrounded by small trailers tucked side-by-side, forming a circle. There's no exit, just a giant circle of these giant rectangular boxes. They all have circular holes on the bottom where it looks like wheels once sat, holding the boxes above the ground.  I register that these are RV's, just like Jax said. Recreational Vehicle. A sort of house on wheels, except these don't have any. Dad told me how his parents used to travel in one of these after they retired. It makes sense now, the kitchen in the trailer we slept in ... these used to be people's homes.
    I guess, still are people's homes. I see a few dozen people edgily moving around, all with guns slung around their backs, like Charlie wore when I saw him last. Dressed like Jax, in gear I remember seeing the cowboys wearing when they passed through at the compound. It seems like people are just waking up, but everyone's on high alert. I'm sure it has everything to do with Timid and me being led through their turf.
    There are equal amounts of girls and guys, but I don't see any children here. Everyone looks about my age; Reagan's the oldest person by far. A fire is alive in the middle of the courtyard, with something cooking over the flame in a big copper pot. It smells burnt, but still my stomach rumbles, reminding me how badly I need to eat.
    Timid must have heard the growling because her lips curl up on the sides, as close to a smile as she can muster.  I'm sure she's hungry too. She's always up before me, already having eaten and ready to serve me with breakfast in bed. I don't want to ask Jax about food now though, I already feel as though us being here is disrupting a balance in this group's