Ghosting Read Online Free PDF Page B

papers.
    I watch him expertly
    roll a joint,
    then light it.
    So, Felix, how are you really?
I ask.
    Good,
he murmurs.
Better now,
he adds, inhaling deeply.
    He has a wide
    blissy
    smile
    on his face.
    Are you and Emma friends still?
I ask.
    Nah. Not since 5th grade,
he says.
    That’s not true,
I say.
The three of us would hang out in middle school.
    Not really, Max. I’d tag along sometimes. But she was gone, for me. On her way out with you, too.
    I nod.
    Felix is right.
    I had tried to hold on, but it was
    a losing battle.
    I cried a lot about it.
    Mom said I was too
    sensitive.
    Emma will always be your friend,
she’d say.
    Like I said,
    clueless.
    Felix passes me
    the joint.
    I take a very small hit.
    I’m not too into pot.
    You like Brendan at all?
I ask.
    Dude’s a jerk,
he says.
    What does Emma see in him?
I say.
    Felix gives me a look.
    Okay, right. He’s hot,
I say with a grin.
    And Brendan
is
hot,
    I mean right-off-the-TV-screen kind of hot.
    Dimples,
    perfect nose,
    tousled hair.
    Six-pack
    and then some.
    Only the best for Emma,
Felix says, but not bitter.
    Bitter’s not Felix’s style.
    I laugh.
    She always had to win everything, didn’t she?
I say.
Board games, races, hopscotch.
    Climb the tree the highest, swing highest, throw the ball farthest,
Felix says.
    Get the most valentines,
I say.
    A pause.
    It’s why I was so good at soccer,
Felix says, unexpectedly.
    He looks a little surprised
    at what he said.
    Why?
I ask, curious.
    She was always after me to play, had to beat me of course. And I couldn’t let a girl do that. Sorry,
he adds,
but it’s a fact.
    I smile.
    Then it hits me
    what Felix said,
    that he
    was
so good at soccer,
    not
    am
so good at soccer.
    Seems like it bothers Emma you don’t play anymore,
I say slowly.
    Felix is quiet.
    Is that really why you stopped, because you tore your ACL?
    There’s a pause.
    Then he says,
No, it’s not.

FELIX
    thing is, i don’t know if it was the weed (it was some strong shit). or the combination of weed and moonbuzz. or if it was seeing max after so long. but it all came pouring out.
    for the first time i told someone. i told her.
    about how the best day of my life turned into the worst.
    mom said afghanistan changed my dad, which i didn’t believe at first. seemed like too much of an excuse. but he did get angry a lot. he’d yell at my soccer games, got thrown out a few times. he was there that night we played harvest prep, nothing to yell about that night, but he did anyway.
    mom dragged him away so neither of them even saw the last goal i scored, amazing shot. trapped a pass on my chest then did a bicycle kick, my back to the goal, lasered it in. i could tell i’d scored from the swell of cheering as i landed flat on my back, the wind knocked out of me. got the whole hero thing, up on the shoulders, paraded around like i was a rock star.
    went to a party afterward and this girl betsy comes up to me and kisses me, just like that. right away she apologizes but then blurts out that she was tired of waiting around to see if i’d ever kiss her first. she’s cute. i’d noticed her before. not emma, but nice and for the first time i’m thinking maybe it’stime to give up on that old dream of emma and me ’cause it’s never gonna happen. maybe i’ll give it a try with betsy. hang out with her some. the kiss felt nice.
    but then i come home.
    it’s one in the morning, and i’m feeling good, nice good, not drunk or anything, and i go up the stairs and suddenly there’s this crashing sound from my parents’ bedroom, then dad letting out a bunch of cuss words. i kind of freeze, standing there in the hall, and that’s when the bedroom door flies open and mom is standing there and all she’s wearing is a bra with a strap missing and the hall light shows her face, swollen up and some blood around her lip. but even worse, much worse, is the blood i see trickling down her leg, the inside of her thigh. then i hear dad’s voice yelling
i’m your