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little glory. Hopefully my masterpiece, but who knows?
     
These past few weeks have been the most incredible for me. I am about to write some things which I’ve never said out loud, not even to myself in my quietest moments. I have no idea how you will respond to my words but if I hit a wrong note please do not mock me or chastise me. I am prepared to give you my heart, I ask that you treat it gently and with kindness.
     
A little bit about me to start with, before I turn to you. I am enjoying my life now, I love my job, I enjoy a good life, I adore my children and although leaving them was the hardest thing I ever had to do, I love them and I know they love me back. My only goal in life is to be there for them now so that as they get older they will still love me and not hate me for leaving them when they were so young.
 
For all that I am in a relatively good place, my demons are still here. There’s a constant voice in my head telling me how bad I am or what damage I am doing to those around me. I try to ignore this voice but sometimes it is deafening.
 
I tell you this because I am falling in love with you, I want our love to be right and a good thing, not some sordid encounter played out in hotel rooms or back seats of cars …(though I’m not ruling either of those out as options, should we manage to reach heads of agreement !!!)
 
I admit to some bad qualities….I can be a bit jealous…I do think overall that jealously is a wasted emotion but unfortunately I struggle to practise what I preach. I’m a bit selfish…I like to make plans and stick to them - spontaneity is not my strong point but on a plus, my plans are usually good fun for anyone involved.
 
Anyway, despite my… reputation… I hope the little time we spent together will show you that I am capable of emotion… and feeling… and thought.
 
I know this because since meeting you I have experienced little else but emotions, feelings and thoughts.
 
I cannot stop thinking about you. I want to ask you so many questions I only hope that soon I can ask some of them. For now though, rather than quiz you, let me tell you a little more about me.
 
I have absolutely no idea why you would choose to be close or confide in someone like me. You could have anyone you desire, certainly there are a host of people with more attractive dispositions than I.
 
However, for whatever reason, you are now in my life and for that I am truly thankful. I don’t know for sure what is going on in your head at the minute, but I am here for you whenever you are ready to tell me. If you are saying that you want to be with me, I want that too. If you are worried about your children, I’m worried about mine too, but I promise to do whatever I can to reassure you that you don’t need to worry.
 
You asked me to tell you what I’d like to do with you and to you… How long have you got?
 
The day you came to the meeting? I wanted to fuck you. Right there, right then. My office was next door. I wanted to take you by the hand, lead you into the room, close the door and then push you up against it. I wanted to kiss you so fucking hard that you couldn’t get a breath. I could see the outline of your bra under your blouse. I imagined ripping every fucking button of that blouse to get your tits into my mouth before pulling you onto my desk, watching the papers fly as I reach to pull your knickers off. So desperate to be inside you, I would not wait. I would fuck you on that desk, quickly and as hard as I could, not stopping until we both come as loudly as possible, not caring if the door opened, or if anyone overheard us. I just wanted to fuck you like crazy.
     
    So now you know… Any problem with that?
             
As our sex life is… I have yet to fuck you, but I’m glad you came in my bed and though I simply can’t understand what happened, until you explain it to me in full, I’m glad you didn’t have to do it yourself.
 
I want to know everything