Get Smart 3 - Get Smart Once Again! Read Online Free PDF Page B

And, as you keep saying, the fate of the entire you-know-what hangs in the you-know-what.”
    “I guess you’re right,” Max sighed. “I’ll have to leave the parachute. Even though it’ll mean that, to pay for it, I’ll have to skip lunches for a week.”
    “What now, Max?” Peaches said.
    “Onward and upward.”
    “What does that mean?”
    “Onward to the airport, and upward in a plane,” Max replied. “But first, I think I’d better report in to the Chief. He’ll be worried. You know how Chiefs are—they worry.”
    Peaches looked at him warily. “This is where you contact the Chief on your shoe—right?”
    “Right. But we can’t stay here by the river. Noman will probably come looking for us.” He pointed. “There’s a building over there. We’ll get inside, out of sight, then I’ll phone the Chief.”
    “Oh, I see,” Peaches said, brightening. “That’s the Telephone Company.”
    Max looked at the building again. “As a matter of fact, it is,” he said. “But, that’s all right—any building will do.”
    “Any building with a phone, you mean.”
    “No, I mean— Let’s not discuss it any more. The longer we stay here, the better chance Noman has of catching us.”
    Max and Peaches left the river and walked to the Telephone Company building. Entering, they spotted a doorman.
    Max walked up to him. “I’d like to make a private call,” he said. “Where would be a quiet place?”
    The doorman pointed. “Public telephones, second door on the right, sir.”
    “No, I don’t want a public telephone. This is a private call.”
    “All private calls are made on public telephones, sir.”
    “If you’ll think about it a second, you’ll see how ridiculous this is,” Max said. “What I want is a quiet little corner where I won’t be disturbed.”
    “There are booths, sir.”
    “All right,” Max said, “I suppose that will have to do.”
    With Max leading the way, he and Peaches walked to the door that the doorman had pointed out. They entered a large room where a great number of operators were operating switchboards. Near the entrance were a great many booths.
    “We’ll just duck into one of these,” Max said.
    “I don’t think there’s room enough for both of us.”
    “All right, we’ll leave the door open. I have trouble getting my shoe off in a closed telephone booth, anyway. You stand guard.”
    Peaches nodded agreement.
    Max stepped into the booth, then, bending over, removed his shoe.
    “Mad!” Peaches groaned.
    Max dialed, then held the shoe to his ear.

    Operator: The number you have dialed is not a working number, sir.
    Max: Of course it’s a working number. I dial it a dozen times a day.
    Operator: What number did you dial, sir?
    Max: I can’t tell you that, Operator. It’s top secret.
    Operator: Are you the same kook who was trapped in a limousine in Greenwich Village a while back, sir?
    Max: Operator—is that you? How’re things?
    Operator: Oh, fine—in general. My Aunt Harriet isn’t doing too well these days, though. Her lumbago.
    Max: That’s too bad. I have an Uncle Horace who suffers from the same thing. Has your Aunt Harriet tried milk baths? That seems to work for Uncle Horace.
    Operator: She tried it. But she had to give it up. It was bad for her psychologically. She said, sitting there in a tub of milk, she felt like a giant Rice Krispie.
    Max: That’s hard to believe.
    Operator: Would you believe a shredded wheat biscuit?
    Max: I’d be more likely to believe a Rice Krispie, frankly.
    Operator: Every time she opened her mouth she said ‘snap, crackle, pop!’
    Max: Operator, I’m trying to contact the Chief at Control. Would you put me through, please?
    Operator: I can’t remember the number. Is it in the book?
    Max: No, it’s an unlisted number.
    Operator: Well, if it’s top secret and you can’t tell me, and it isn’t in the book, I don’t see how I can help you.
    Max: How would this do? Suppose I write it down for you? Will you