Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Read Online Free PDF Page A

think it is nice to nudge a person on top of the table as I am trying to teach good manners to Dorothy. So I said “That is quite a cute little girl so she must be an American girl.” And sure enough she called the head-waiter with quite an American accent and she was quite angry and she said to him, I have been coming to this hotel for 35 years and this is the first time I have been kept waiting. So I recognized her voice because it was really Fanny Ward. So we asked her to come over to our table and we were all three delighted to see each other. Because I and Fanny have known each other for about five years but I really feel as if I knew her better because mama knew her 45 years ago when she and mama used to go to school together and mama used to always follow all her weddings in all the newspapers. So now Fanny lives in London and is famous for being one of the cutest girls in London. I mean Fanny is almost historical, because when a girl is cute for 50 years it really begins to get historical.
    So if mama did not die of hardening of the arterys she and Fanny and I could have quite a delightful time in London as Fanny loves to shop. So we went shopping for hats and instead of going to the regular shop we went to the childrens department and Fanny and I bought some quite cute hats as childrens hats only cost half as much and Fanny does it all the time. I mean Fanny really loves hats and she buys some in the children’s department every week, so she really saves quite a lot of money.
    So we came back to the Ritz to meet Major Falcon because Major Falcon invited us to go to tea with him at a girls house called Lady Shelton. So Major Falcon invited Fanny to go with us to, but she was sorry because she had to go to her music lesson.
    So at Lady Sheltons house we met quite a few people who seemed to be English. I mean some of the girls in London seem to be Ladies which seems to be the opposite of a Lord. And some who are not Ladies are honorable. But quite a few are not Ladies or honorable either, but are just like us, so all you have to call them is “Miss.” So Lady Shelton was really delighted to have we Americans come to her house. I mean she took Dorothy and I into the back parlor and tried to sell us some shell flowers she seems to make out of sea shells for 25 pounds. So we asked her how much it was in money and it seems it is 125 dollars. I mean I am really going to have a quite hard time in London with Dorothy because she really should not say to an English lady what she said. I mean she should not say to an English lady that in America we use shells the same way only we put a dry pea under one of them and we call it a game. But I told Lady Shelton we really did not need any shell flowers. So Lady Shelton said she knew we Americans loved dogs so she would love us to meet her mother.
    So then she took Dorothy and Major Falcon and I to her mother’s house which was just around the corner from her house. Because her mother seems to be called a Countess and raise dogs. So her mother was having a party too, and she seemed to have quite red hair and quite a lot of paint for such an elderly lady. So the first thing she asked us was she asked us if we bought some shell flowers from her daughter. So we told her no. But she did not seem to act like a Countess of her elderly age should act. Because she said, “You were right my dears—don’t let my daughter stick you—they fall apart in less than a week.” So then she asked us if we would like to buy a dog. I mean I could not stop Dorothy but she said “How long before the dogs fall apart?” But I do not think the Countess acted like a Countess ought to act because she laughed very, very loud and she said that Dorothy was really priceless and she grabed Dorothy and kissed her and held her arm around her all the time. I mean I really think that a Countess should not encouradge Dorothy or else she is just as unrefined as Dorothy seems to be. But I told the Countess that