Gap Creek Read Online Free PDF Page A

at church or in town. And sometimes it give me a thrill just to think of a good-looking boy.
    When I thought of a boy I always thought of somebody I could give in to. Not one of these nervous boys that couldn’t hardly look at you without blinking. I thought of a strong man that knowed what he wanted and could teach you. I wanted a body that meant to go somewhere. I guess I wanted a man instead of a boy.
    But what was the good of thinking about boys when Papa needed me to help him, and my hands was so rough from holdingan axe or shovel or hoe handle I didn’t want any boy to see them, much less hold them and feel the calluses and swelled knuckles. Hard work will make the joints in your hands swell up so your fingers lose their pretty shape. I didn’t know if my hands would ever get soft again. They hadn’t been delicate since I was a little girl, since before I started working with Papa, sawing and digging ditches with a pick and shovel.
    WHEN LOU AND me had sawed ten lengths of wood we loaded them on the sled. It was hard to roll the heavy pieces without slipping, but at least they rolled easier on the ice than they would have in leaves. You always load wood on a sled lengthwise, for the stakes on the sides keep it from rolling off. The ten sticks was heavy, and I had my doubts whether Lou and me could pull the sled.
    But it was good to take a break from sawing. We picked up the ropes tied to the rings of the runners.
    “I never thought I would have to be an ox,” Lou said, “at least not this way.”
    I snickered, but I was already pulling too hard to laugh. The runners had stuck in the ice, and first we had to break them loose. The sourwood runners appeared to sink down in the ice a little. I pulled on one rope and Lou pulled on the other, but we couldn’t budge the sled. Twice I slipped on the ice and hit my knees.
    “It’s too heavy,” Lou said.
    I saw that if we had to take off some wood and pull half a load it was hardly worth the trip. “Let’s pull sideways,” I said. We jerked the ropes to the left, but still the sled wouldn’t loosen. I was confounded to know what to do. And then I seen a pole leaning on a downed oak tree. I took the pole and pried it under a runner of the sled. “Now pull,” I hollered to Lou. She give a yank, and the sled runners broke free. I dropped the pole and grabbed one of the ropes,and we started dragging the load through the woods. We had to lean ahead almost until our knees touched the snow. But the sled moved forward and we kept going toward the house.
    IN A HOUSE full of girls there is always disagreement about the work, about who is to do what. When Papa was too sick to do anything outside, it seemed natural they expected me to look after the stock and do the milking, as well as bring in firewood. But when Papa took bad sick and didn’t get any better, somebody had to nurse him too, cause Mama couldn’t do it all. And there was things my sisters didn’t like to do, that had to be done, like lifting him onto the chamber pot, and bathing him once a week, and rolling him over when the bed clothes had to be changed. Of course they wanted me to do it, for who wants to watch their own Papa dookie in the pot, or who wants to wash him all over with a washrag?
    But somebody had to, and somebody had to help Mama, and somebody had to stay up at night. And Mama had back trouble herself that winter and was too sore to do much lifting or bending over.
    SO IT FELL on me a lot to stay up with Papa, when his lungs got so bad he couldn’t breathe at night. After I’d worked all day in the fields I’d get a little sleep between maybe eight o’clock and midnight, either in bed or sometimes just dozing by the fire in a chair. Then I’d rouse myself to stay up with Papa after all the others had gone to sleep. A body can do with a lot less sleep than you might think. One of the others sometimes stayed up for a while, or got up at some point in the night. But it fell to me to be there