GABRIEL'S GIFT: A Lost Hearts Christmas Story Read Online Free PDF Page A

detached. "She abandoned me when I was four."
    "Just … dumped you?"
    "Like garbage." Okay. That was not so detached. Maybe he still had issues. Maybe he should turn the conversation to her. "From what you've said, it doesn't sound like your mother thinks you're garbage."
    "No! What an awful thing to say. No!"
    "The thing is, I'd hate to see you become a foster child. It's a tough, unloving environment. Why don't you consider going home? Other than those things she said to you, your mom sounds like a really nice person. Maybe she had a bad day. I'll bet she's sorry for what she said to you."
    "I can't go home." Arabella sat up straight. "She doesn't want me to come back."
    "Why not?"
    Words came in a rush. "Because I told her … I told her … I told her I hated her, that she was an awful, selfish mom. I said I was tired of being poor all the time and never having what the other kids have. I said I was tired of being teased for wearing stuff from the consignment store. I said if she worked two jobs, we wouldn't have to live in such a crummy neighborhood and if she'd been a good wife, my dad wouldn't have screwed around with my first stepmother and we'd still have money. I s…said…" She struggled to speak against threatening tears.
    He tried to help. "You said mean things to your mother."
    "Y…yes! And she'll never forgive me. Never ever, and I'm so ashamed." Putting her face into her hands, Arabella cried pitifully.
    In between the sobbing, Gabriel heard the occasional, "I'm bad." "I'm stupid." "I'm mean."
    Finally, when she wound down a little, he got up, got a box of tissue, came and sat down next to her and stuffed one into her hand.
    She blew her nose noisily. "She said she wants me to have a cell phone so she can keep in contact with me, make sure I'm safe all the time, but we can't afford it. After that I said she was selfish and she hated me. Then she explained we couldn't afford the phone because I have to get b…braces."
    He winced. "Braces instead of a cell phone. That does suck."
    "Then I felt sort of … guilty, and I said all that other stuff, and her eyes got really dark blue with rage. She was scary. She said her stuff back, and she hurt my feelings. That's why I ran away. I kept thinking … it served her right to be alone, and she'd be sorry if something happened to me, and I never wanted to see her again." Arabella rubbed her denim-clad legs as if they ached. "But now, I've been alone for three days, and I keep thinking back, and right before her eyes got so furious … she had tears in them. I hurt her feelings. I know how hard she tries. I really do." Her voice rose to a wail. "Why did I say that stuff? What's the matter with me?"
    No wonder she didn't want to smile. Not only was she alone, she was carrying a load of remorse.
    "Do you want to know what I think?" he asked.
    She hesitated long enough that he grinned.
    She was twelve. Of course she didn't care what he thought. But he was going to tell her anyway. "You're not stupid, and you're not mean, and you're not bad. You lost your temper and mouthed off. You blamed your mom when you knew it wasn't her fault. You made a mistake . That doesn't make you stupid. That makes you human. And you're sorry, which makes you smart."
    "Yeah." She sniffled pitifully.
    "In my life, I've had times when I've said the wrong thing. I've trusted the wrong person. I almost lost Hannah, the woman I love more than anyone in the world, because I acted badly. It took a while, and I had to grovel, but she did forgive me."
    "Did she?" Arabella sounded hopeful.
    He got soft and mushy, as he always did when he talked about Hannah. "She forgave me with all her heart."
    In a switch to total practicality, Arabella asked, "Then why won't you get a baby with her? Are you afraid that you're like your parents?"
    He'd been playing the role of wise, omnipotent counselor, and with a single question, Arabella filleted him like a trout.
    Are you afraid you're like your parents?
    God. He