From What I Remember Read Online Free PDF Page A

Max.
    “Kylie, let’s do this later. I’ll be done in half an hour.” He sounds almost conciliatory.
    “Screw you, Max. You’re such an asshole. You’ve wasted enough of my time today. We’re doing it now.”
    Jesus. Who says this kind of stuff in real life? Me, apparently. I’m not filtering. I’ve gone completely off the edge. I just wish I could have waited until after I delivered my valedictorian speech. I’m going to be standing at the podium, the laughingstock of Freiburg. Will anyone even want to listen to a speech I’ve labored over for months? Too late to worry about that now.
    Max’s expression switches from placating to pissed. “You know what, Kylie, screw you . The deal is off. You’re on your own because you’re the only idiot who cares about doing the assignment. I was trying to be nice, but fuck it. And I’m in the middle of a game. So get the hell off the court.”
    At this point, Max whips the ball at the wall, missing my head by only a few inches. He’s a very good player, so I have to assume that was on purpose. I’ve lost the battle and the war. I skulk off the court. I’m still livid, but my anger is now mixed with the sour taste of humiliation. I keep my head down and hurry toward the exit, ignoring the peanut gallery.
    Will catches up with me outside. He loops his arm through mine. “You had me at ‘Screw you, Max.’ You were brilliant!”
    I don’t say anything. I’m too busy beating myself up. Why can’t I just let go for once and kick Murphy’s stupid assignment to the curb? Will can tell I’m in the middle of round five of one of my self-boxing matches. He’s been ringside many times before.
    “His ass isn’t what it used to be. Freshman year, it was tight and sweet. He’s getting soft. Doesn’t bode well for middle age,” Will says, trying to cheer me up.
    “You know that’s not true.”
    “I know. He’s got an amazing ass, not to mention his six-pack abs and those guns—”
    “Is this supposed to help?”
    “Sorry. Sorry.”
    “I’m getting worse. That was ridiculous.”
    “They deserved it. No one else stands up to them.”
    “I hate this place.”
    “Me too. But you’re gonna kill at NYU.”
    I love Will for trying to prop me up. But I worry I’ll be just the same at NYU, or anywhere else I go, for that matter. What if it’s not Freiburg? What if it’s me? What if I just don’t fit in anywhere, like my brother, Jake? Don’t get me wrong: Freiburg sucks and has, rightly, been an endless source of blame for most of my social shortcomings. There’s very little here for me besides Will. But I can’t help wondering if, at a certain point, it’s partly my fault.
    “Yeah. Whatever…” I say to Will, my insecurity creeping across my skin like a bad rash.
    “Stop it. Do not let these people make you feel less than extraordinary. You are one amazing human. Don’t forget it,” Will insists.
    “I don’t know. It’s just, I can’t believe I lost it like that. It was totally mortifying.”
    “It was inspiring. You’re my hero.” Will pulls me into a hug. “Wanna go to Pinkberry? My treat.”
    “Can’t. Gotta watch Jake,” I say, unhitching myself from Will and heading toward the street.
    “‘Loser,’” Will calls to me.
    “‘Blow me.’”
    “‘Call me later?’” Will finishes the line from Cruel Intentions . He waves and disappears into the quad.
    I need to get home. I’m already running late. But before I get on the bus, I’ve got to pee. So I hustle my way to the arts center. Everybody has their favorite bathroom at school, and this one is mine. It hasn’t been modernized like the rest of Freiburg. It’s shabby and creaky, with deep sinks and rusty metal doors on the stalls. And no one’s ever there. It’s a great place to hide away from the world, unlike Freiburg’s other bathrooms, most of which have been commandeered by various social groups. The bathroom in the basement, beneath the cafeteria, is where all the