From a Distant Star Read Online Free PDF Page A

sweet dog I didn’t want him to get in trouble forsomething I did. “I’m sorry.” I tried to look repentant as I faced her angry stare. Finally, I had to look away.
    “Of course you’re sorry,” she said. “For all the good that does.”
    “I won’t do it again. I just thought it would bring Lucas some comfort.”
    “You don’t get it, do you?” she said, leaning down to whisper angrily in my face. “Lucas is beyond comfort.”
    “That’s not true,” I protested.
    She kept on like she hadn’t even heard me. “He’s dying, Emma. I’m losing my son and you being here is making it worse. You’re stealing precious moments from Eric and me and his father. We’re his family.” I caught the emphasis on the word “family.” To her, it was everything. “Lucas is my firstborn. At the funeral, you’ll be crying and everyone will feel sorry for you. Poor sweet Emma, they’ll say, they were so in love. She never left his side.” Now her tone was mocking. “But you know what? You have the rest of your life. Soon enough, you’ll have a new boyfriend, and eventually your memories of Lucas will fade. Your life will go on and on. Meanwhile, I will always be a mother who has lost a child. The pain will always be fresh for me.”
    “I’m sorry,” I said again. I wanted to say more. I wanted to protest that Lucas was irreplaceable for me too, that she’d underestimated us and our love. We had a bond way beyond that of the typical high school relationship. I adored Lucas, and no one else would ever come close. I wanted to explain to her how it really was, but I’d just woken up from a very deep sleep and the words got stuck between my brain and mouth.
    She stood up and pointed to the doorway. “I think you need to go sleep on the couch in the living room and in the morning, you can go home. You won’t be staying overnight anymore. I should be the one sleeping in the recliner, staying with him. You can come for no more than an hour each day, just like every other visitor.”
    “Oh no, please don’t do that.” I got up from the chair to make my case. “I won’t let Mack near him anymore, I swear. And I can just sit on the floor. In the corner, out of the way. You won’t even know I’m here. Just don’t make me go. I can’t be away from him.”
    “Oh, for crying out loud.” She threw up her hands. “It’s no use, Emma. I’ve already made up my mind. I can’t deal with your drama on top of everything else. I’m tired. I’m so tired.” She walked past me, her slippers shuffling against the hardwood floor, and settled into the chair, covering her face with her hands. That’s when the unthinkable happened. Mrs. Walker began to cry, silently at first, her body shaking and then heaving, and then she began sobbing, gulping air and wailing, ugly cries that tore at my heart. I’d thought she was made of steel, but in that second, I saw I’d been wrong.
    I only hesitated for a second before going over to give her a hug. She let me, or maybe it was more that she didn’t stop me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and she leaned into me, still crying, her fingers covering her eyes. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say. I understood her anguish. We both loved Lucas. We had that much in common. After a few minutes, I felt her body relax, and her wails subsided to whimpers. “Do you want a Kleenex?” I finally asked.
    “Yes, please.”
    I left her side and found the tissues in my backpack, then handed her a few. One didn’t seem like it would be enough.
    “We should probably keep a box down here,” she said, first wiping her eyes, then blowing her nose. “We used to have one.”
    I nodded. I remembered seeing it on the side table next to Lucas’s bed, but it wasn’t there now.
    She said, “I know you think I hate you, Emma, but I don’t.” For a split second, I thought we were going to have a bonding moment, but then she continued. “I don’t hate you; I resent