told your mother laterâyou must have, or he didâbut they still kept her on.â
âFrieda was a gem, they thought. She ran the house. Kept the kids disciplined, quiet when necessary and out of the way. Three boys too, so no easy task. She gave them the time to do what they liked. Work, play, go off for a week or weekend whenever they wanted. Cruises, and once all summer in Europe. And she wasnât well paid either. None of the nannies then were.â
âBut she did lots of cruel things like that feces scene. She beat you, hit your face. Smacked your hands with a spatula that you said stung for hours later.â
âThat was Jadwiga, the Polish woman who replaced Frieda when Frieda married.â
âSent you to bed without your dinner several times.â
âBoth of them.â
âTwisted your wrists till they burned. Right? Frieda?â He nods. âFace it, she was a sadist, but your parents permitted it.â
âLook, you have to understand where she came from and the period. As for my parents, who knows if they didnât think that disciplineâher kindâand it probably wasnât an uncommon notion thenâattitude, belief, whateverâwas what we needed. The kids. And OK, since they didnât want to discipline us like that themselvesâdidnât have the heart to, or the discipline for it or the timeâshe got anointed. Appointed . That wasnât intentional. Iâm not that smart. Or just was tacitly allowed to. Anyway, Frieda came from Hanover. 1930 or so. A little hamlet outside. My father hired her right off the boat. Literally, almost. She was here for two or three days when he got her from an employment agency. And that had to be the way she was brought up herself. Germany, relatively poor and little educated, and very rigid, tough, hard, disciplined years.â
âWhat did your father do after he stopped laughing? Did he clean your face?â
âI donât remember, but Iâm sure he didnât. He would never touch it. The shit? That was Friedaâs job. On her day off, my motherâs.â
âCan you remember though?â
âLet me see.â Closes his eyes. âShe put me down. Iâd asked her to. Your know all that. I ran into the kitchen. I see him coming, and then heâs there. Heâs got on a business suit, white shirt and a tie. His office was in front of the building, you know.â
âYes.â
âSo it could have been around lunchtime. He came back to the apartment for lunch every workday. Did it through a door connecting the office and apartment.â
âThe doorâs not there now, is it?â
âOn my motherâs side it isâin the foyerâbut she had that huge breakfront put up in front of it. On the other side it was sealed up when he gave up the office. I donât know why they didnât have the door sealed up on their side. Would have been safer from break-ins and more aesthetic. Maybe he thought heâd start up his practice again when he got well enough to. But after he gave up the office it was rented by another dentist. A woman. He sold her most of his equipment. And he wouldnât have been in a business suit then. White shirt and tie, yes. He wore them under his dental smock on even the hottest days. So now it makes me wonder. It was definitely a business suit I saw. A dark one. He must have come into the apartment through the front door, not the office door. It was probably a Sunday. Frieda got her day off during the week and a half day off on Sunday right after lunch. So I donât know. Maybe it was one of the Jewish holidays. He could have just come back from shul . But where were my brothers? They could have gone with him and were now playing outside. And my mother? She would have been in the kitchen cooking if it was a Jewish holiday. That was the timeâthe only time, just about, except for Thanksgiving and I donât