felt a hand squeeze my armâmy fatherâs. I glanced at him, and the nod he gave me conveyed urgent approval. He seemed to recognize that his freedom was at hand, closer than heâd ever dared dream, and his eyes brightened in hope. I hardly heard Crowderâs response.
Judge Liu made his ruling. âThe defendantâs motion to reduce bail is well taken. I find that the special circumstances in this caseâincluding the defendantâs many years of incarceration, excellent behavioral record, and the likelihood that the state will not be able to meet its burden of proceedingâwarrant a substantial reduction; however, not to the level requested by the defense. Bail is set at fifty thousand dollars cash bond.â
~ ~ ~
As soon as Liu had left the bench, Dot came through the swinging gate, took my fatherâs face in both her hands, and kissed him on the mouth. Cameras flashed, capturing the moment. My fatherâs face was flushed. His hands shook with excitement.
More reporters were waiting as we came out of the courtroom, making me remember that today was the first time Teddy had appeared at the Hall of Justice since heâd been shot. Heâd once owned this place. Back then, people would have turned to look at him as he strode down the halls to a court appearance, the cops staring with open contempt, the defendants acknowledging his magic reputation as a fixer. The hearing today could have been his coming-out party, his return to the practice of lawâexcept I hadnât given him the chance to say a word.
Dot had her bike, and planned to meet us at Teddyâs. Sheâd brought an extra helmet for my father, but Lawrence balked. âNot unless youâre going to let me drive,â he said.
âAnd kill us both?â She masked her disappointment with feigned disgust.
As we drove across the Bay Bridge, sitting three across in my pickup, Dot passed us, and my father peered out the window for a glimpse of the skyline between the decks. When we were halfway across, he said, âI guess they fixed it after it fell down.â It took me a moment to realize that he was talking about the upper deckâs collapse during the quake of â89.
I said, âThings must look different.â I was wary of drawing him out, afraid to know too much about what he was feeling. He would be like a skinless man, all his protective instincts turned inside out, a condition likely to put him wrong in any normal interaction. As he stared out at the landscape unscrolling outside the window, I was sensitive to how I must figure in the tumult of emotions he was experiencing.
âFunny,â he said. âI was just thinking how everything looks the same. Same old world. And same old Lawrence Maxwell.â What he meant by that I didnât ask.
Iâd called as soon as we left the courtroom, and the others were waiting at Teddyâs house: Jeanie, Tamara, Carly. The welcome home party that wasnât. Because where was home for a man whoâd spent the last twenty-one years in San Quentin? Dot was waiting outside, and the others were all out back. As we joined them, Tamara, whoâd been sketching, rose, laying her pad aside.
âI hear youâre a wonderful artist,â Lawrence said, taking her hand. âYouâre just as lovely as Teddy described you. Or rather, lovelier.â
I introduced everyone to Dot, whom my father seemed to ignore. She wouldnât look me in the eyes, but hung back, seeming to take in the scene. Tamara deflected Lawrenceâs compliment by introducing him to Jeanie, who seemed uncomfortable and out of place, and kept staring at Dot as if she were some exotic species. But since Teddy had asked Jeanie to come, she was here.
âLet me show you the baby,â Teddy said, moving between Lawrence and Tamara. âThis is Carly.â
âDonât wake herââ Tamara started, but he was already lifting the sleeping
Janwillem van de Wetering