Forsaken Read Online Free PDF

sister meant.
    The soft tread of bare feet on the wooden planks alerted Hannah to Rachel’s approach. “I meant, what about you ? It’s your time to step out. Past time.”
    â€œI don’t need rumschpringe to show me what I want.”
    Rachel touched Hannah’s shoulder, turning her around. “Is it Levi then? Is he the one?”
    Hannah’s heart thrummed, but she managed to keep her voice steady as her gaze drifted away from Rachel’s, toward the window and the barn below. Already he would be feeding the livestock and going about the chores her father laid out for him. “Levi is a good man, I reckon.”
    â€œIs that where you went last night?” Rachel smiled, no judgmental shadow darkening her eyes. “Off to meet him?”
    Hannah’s throat thickened.
    â€œI heard you get up after midnight.” Rachel dipped her chin in that encouraging way of hers but it felt to Hannah like a tool shoved into her side, attempting to pry loose all that remained private and secret. “It is all right if you did, Hannah. Your secret is safe with me.”
    Hannah’s lips compressed and her teeth clipped down on her tongue. Guilt chewed at her insides. She turned away and gathered the plain, unadorned, lavender dress and thrust it toward Rachel. “Hurry. An Amish wife can’t laze about, not even on her wedding day.”
    It took only a few minutes for Rachel to slide the straight pins through the material and hold her apron in place. She looked much as she did every day, for an Amish wedding dress was no different than ordinary clothing, but this one was newly sewn and today a peaceful calm radiated from her.
    Hannah stepped behind her and placed her hands on Rachel’s slim shoulders, wanting to make amends for not confiding in her, the way Rachel often shared of her stolen moments with Josef. Rachel patted Hannah’s hand, and their gazes locked momentarily. Words were unnecessary, and the love Hannah harbored for her sister welled up inside her. Smiling, Rachel reached for the white kapp on the bed. Hannah placed the thin organdy material at the back of Rachel’s head, then carefully pinned it in place. Her fingers traced the ties downward and linked with her sister’s.
    â€œAre you ready?” Hannah’s voice sounded husky.
    â€œEven so much more than when I was baptized. Is that awful bad? May the good Lord forgive me, but it feels as if this is what I was meant for.” Her fingers smoothed out the long tie of her kapp . “There’s something comforting in knowing what lies ahead. That I will one day wear this kapp when I am placed in my coffin.”
    Hannah’s fingers tightened on Rachel’s. She couldn’t think about losing more loved ones, not after losing Jacob, even if it was life’s way—the cycling of the seasons. A daisy sprouted, budded, bloomed, and faded until it fell apart, becoming part of the ground from which it came. Death was as much a part of everyday life as living and breathing. Death brought her love once. Could it again?
    Rachel’s fingers tightened on Hannah’s and her gaze intensified, her pupils narrowing to pinpricks of black. “There’s security in knowing that much of our lives, isn’t there?”
    The harsh reality was: there was no security, no knowing how their lives would play out. Hannah once had hoped she would be Jacob’s wife, have his children, stand alongside him as they grew old through their years together along with the turning of the seasons, but now her hope had turned brown and crusty, like a fallen leaf waiting to be trampled. She had once felt the same as Rachel, having known she was meant to be with Jacob. Now what was she meant for? Doubts rose inside her, but she swept them into a hidden place before they overwhelmed her and eclipsed the day.
    For Rachel’s sake, she wanted today to be special. “You look lovely, Rachel. Josef is