Forgive Me Read Online Free PDF Page B

Charlotte!
    “What the hell is wrong with me?” I run my hands through my hair trying to brush it, but it’s knotted at the base of my head. “Do I look like I just got laid in the back of a truck?” I ask, surrendering to the ridiculousness of it.
    “No,” he says calmly, as if I am not on the verge of a breakdown. “Not in the back of a truck.” His eyes are pacific. Gray: the color between black and white. They don’t belong in his body.
    “Come here.”
    “No,” I say, and watch the rain assault the truck window. Jason reaches across the seat and pulls me on top of him. My arm burns from him yanking on it as I lean back onto the steering wheel. What the hell am I doing here? The rain turns to hail and its bullets hit the roof of the truck. I look at the ceiling then back at Jason. He’s waiting for me, but not for me to say something, or do something. He’s waiting for me to be okay. How long will you wait? The thought of it makes me smile slightly and at the sight of it, he pulls me close and kisses me again.
    “I’m not going to have sex with you in the McDonalds parking lot.” Jason completely ignores me as he kisses me again and I forget what I was talking about. I forget to be mad; mad at him, and my parents, and God, and every other person in this world. I swing my leg over him and he pulls me close as I straddle him in the driver’s seat. My arms are clenched around his neck and my lips hurt from the force of his, and I forget I’m in a parking lot.
    I forget it all.
    *  *  *
    The yard is empty. All the mourners have returned to their normal lives. As Jason pulls into the driveway, I realize my normal life has no mom and no dad in it. The house looks dark except for the light my mother always leaves on in the living room window. It’s been forsaken. Like me. I take a deep breath.
    “Thanks for the ride,” I say. It’s an absurd statement. It’s an absurd life. Jason gets out of the car. I follow him out and meet him at the front of the truck. “Can you come in?” I didn’t think it was a possibility until I said it and now that I have, I desperately need him to say yes.
    “Where else would I go?” he asks, and I almost cry with gratitude. I put the code in the garage door and lead the way into my parents’ kitchen. The smell of flowers, which will now be forever connected to death, slaps me in the face when I enter the room. They are littering the counters across the entire long wall. Containers of food and wrapped desserts are on the table and the ice bucket is lying upside down drying next to drinks stacked alongside it.
    The party is over.
    I walk into the family room and take off my shoes and turn on the lights. When I return to the kitchen Jason is reading a note and holding my cell phone.
    “Margo cleaned up. She’s worried about you. You forgot your phone when you left with me,” he says, as he reads the note. Why is this okay? Any other guy, at any other time, I would have something to say about him just reading a note obviously written to me. I take the note out of his hand and read it for myself. It says exactly what he said it did. “You should call your brother, too.”
    Instead of calling, I text Sean that I’m home, exhausted, and going to bed. I peer at Jason over the phone as I type my plan and he is quietly staring back. Sean immediately texts back his relief and an offer to come get me if I want to sleep at his house tonight. The fact that he didn’t call means he’s just as exhausted. I’ll be fine, is all I respond. Margo will not be so easy.
    Hey. Thanks for cleaning up.
    I text her and within seconds my phone rings.
    “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick,” she says, before I have a chance to say hello.
    “I was at Stoners and McDonalds.” Jason’s wicked little laugh comes from the family room.
    “The whole time with Jason Leer?” She’s accusing me of something.
    “Yes. He’s here now.”
    “What?” She spews, not used