For Faughie's Sake Read Online Free PDF Page B

tourist. By her clothes and hair and thread-thin figure she seemed young, but up close she had what used to be known as a ‘lived in’ face. She should have been pretty, she had nice regular features, but whoever had lived in her face had obviously trashed the place. Instead of the usual crinkles and laughter lines there were deep trenches round her eyes and mouth giving her the look of a hunted animal, probably from all that extravagant coughing. When it finally subsided she seemed relaxed, or maybe exhausted. She sat up on her elbows, stubbed out her ciggie and squinted at the dogs.
    ‘I think she rather likes it, actually,’ she said in an aristocratic accent. ‘Mimi, you’re such a little tart.’
    Mimi, a beautiful little King Charles spaniel, seemed to resent this remark. She wriggled free of Bouncer and ran off along the sand. Taking this as a come-on, Bouncer gave chase.
    ‘Bouncer, come back here this minute!’ I yelled in my how-dare-you voice, and then turned to the woman, ‘I’m so sorry about this.’
    This posh lady might not be so relaxed when my grubby mongrel impregnated her pedigree pooch.
    ‘Oh, leave them to it. Don’t worry on Mimi’s behalf. She’s a flirtatious little bitch, she enjoys letting dirty dogs run after her. But then, we girls are all the same, aren’t we?’
    She smiled at me, a leering all-girls-together smile, which, out of politeness, I returned, rolling my eyes for good measure. I hear you sister, my rolling eyes said. The woman rose to her feet and stuck out her hand.
    ‘Dinah. Pleased to meet you.’
    She reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out a hip flask.
    ‘Snifter?’
    I was so surprised I didn’t say anything. It really was a beautiful hip flask, silver or maybe pewter, and all engraved with a fancy coat of arms on the front. Dinah took my hesitation for acceptance and thrust it towards me.
    ‘It’s Auchensadie,’ she said, nodding her head towards the village and the distillery beyond, ‘good stuff.’
    ‘I really shouldn’t,’ I mumbled.
    The flask had a wee silver cup attached as a lid. I poured a teaspoonful, just to be sociable, and necked it. It burned all the way down. The breeze on my face suddenly felt exhilarating. As I handed the flask back I was about to tell her my name when Mimi leapt between us and up into Dinah’s arms. Bouncer wasn’t far behind and, in his enthusiasm to get at Mimi, he nearly pushed the anorexic woman over. Almost as quickly as they’d come, the dogs were off again, this time with Mimi chasing Bouncer. Dinah might be right about her wee spaniel, but it was clear both dogs were enjoying themselves.
    ‘It’s lovely to see them having such fun, isn’t it?’ she said, as she poured herself a large one and sipped at it.
    We stood and watched the dogs romp around on the sand before they came tearing towards us again. Luckily Dinah had put the flask back in her pocket. This time she was ready for Bouncer and grabbed him by the collar.
    ‘Good boy,’ she said enthusiastically, as she fondled his ears.
    I took my cue from Dinah and patted her little dog. Mimi was adorable, with a cute wee squashed face and dangly ears.
    ‘Oh, her fur is so soft!’ I cried in surprise. Not like Bouncer’s shag-pile coat.
    ‘Yes, and she makes an excellent foot warmer,’ said Dinah. ‘Oh crumbs, what have we here? I’m afraid your little chap has a tick.’
    I didn’t know what she was talking about.
    ‘Just here, behind his ear. See? They get them all the time in this long grass.’
    I peered down while she held Bouncer’s collar and separated his fur.
    ‘Oh my god, it’s moving!’
    Something was embedded in his skin, something alive with flailing limbs and tentacles.
    ‘Sheep tick. Don’t worry, it’s easily removed,’ said Dinah evenly, reaching into her other back pocket and producing a green plastic thing that looked like a miniature crochet hook. ‘This is what I use when Mimi has one, I swear by