Follow Me Through Darkness Read Online Free PDF

my heart. It’s been so long since my father wore that expression. So long since he’s been anything like a father.
    The woman’s eyes grow three sizes wider. “Why does she want to go up there?”
    Bayard looks between us. “She’s only passing through.”
    “Where’s she from? There’s nothing up there, girl. Nothing but death and danger.”
    I open my mouth to speak and close it again when I realize I have nothing to say.
    Bayard crosses his arms. “She’s on a mission, Francine. No need knowing any more than that. I was hoping we could sleep here tonight. We’ve a good two more days of walking ahead of us.”
    They say a few more words in their Spanish language, Francine stealing glances at me while they talk. They pause, and then Francine smiles and hugs me. She takes the pack off my back and hangs Bayard’s torch on the wall.
    “You’re just in time for supper,” she says in her high- pitched voice. “My Jordan did some hunting today. We had a lucky day, we did.”
    They use that word a lot. Lucky .
    Francine winds my arm through hers. She’s so welcoming that I can’t keep up with her whirlwind movements. She whistles through her teeth, something that Kai tried to teach me to do more times than I can count, and people from the first two tents poke their heads out.
    The next thing I know, we’re all sitting on the ground around a cauldron of stew. There’s a thin boy who keeps smiling at me with his missing teeth and dirty face, and an old man made up of bones who keeps staring at me-well, the branding on the back of my neck-his mouth ajar. I let my hair down around it to block his view, and my hair is matted together. I’m more like a Remnant each day. The thought isn’t as horrible as I imagine. It feels nice to belong with them, even temporarily.
    Bayard sits across from me, talking to the others like they are long-lost friends. The sight of it makes me miss my own friends. The ache forming in my chest disappears when some little girl hands me a chipped black bowl. A boy comes behind her and slops something tan into it. Even as the others wait for food, they giggle and talk excitedly over each other. I smile as I watch them. They look like the kids I taught in the Compound, yet they live nothing like them. How does someone live in darkness forever and carry so much contagious light?
    Francine stands up. “Let’s say a blessing and give thanks.”
    And they do. Each one of them lifts up a voice and chants the same thing while I sit and listen. I don’t need to know what they are saying to feel the joy. The Compound is about control, but this world is family and freedom. They deserve more than this life, and I want to help them all find it. Stopping the Elders, finding the Mavericks-I can do that for them. Fight for the innocent at the Compound and the ones forced into hiding. Save us all.
    “Thank you, Jordan, for the delicacy of tonight’s dinner!” Francine beams. The young boy who put food in my bowl blushes and buries his head into his bowl. I lift the spoon up from the thick, pasty stew and catch Bayard’s eye from across the circle. He’s smiling while he chews, his face completely bright with something hilarious. I look toward Jordan and the food and back at Bayard.
    A delicacy. Rat stew.
    I am not strong enough for this.
    “Something wrong, honey?” one of the women next to me asks. Her belly is wide and round with pregnancy, and I can imagine her having that baby at any time. I stare at her stomach as she rubs it. “You can touch it,” she says.
    I shake my head. “How far along?”
    “A few more weeks,” she says, face lit up with happiness.
    I smile, but the thought of having a baby in this world is baffling. There’s nothing to look forward to, nowhere to go, and yet the Remnants are alive. I lift my spoon and can hear Bayard chuckle in the crowd, but I avoid looking at him. I close my eyes, stick the spoon in my mouth, and try to not think while I chew. Just chew. And