Floods 10 Read Online Free PDF Page B

nought-point-three per cent who had a malformed gene that made them want to learn lots of stuff, most of which usually ended up making them more miserable than everyone else.
    â€˜But you could have a say in how our country is being run,’ they said.
    â€˜What, you mean change things?’ said the ninety-nine-point-seven.
    â€˜Exactly!’
    â€˜Why would we want to do that? Don’t forget, we are all wizards, we can change anything we want whenever we want,’ said a member of the ninety-nine-point-seven, picking up a pebble and turning it into a perfectly ripe delicious golden peach.
    â€˜Exactly,’ said another, picking up a perfectly ripe delicious golden peach and turning it into a lovely pebble with an interesting iron oxide stain on it that looked exactly like Elvis Presley’s basset hound, Sherlock.
    â€˜Yes, but what about all the things that wehaven’t got?’ said the remaining nought-point-three per cent. ‘This country is, like, living in the Dark Ages.’
    â€˜Only at night time.’
    â€˜No, not that. I mean technology and the internet and solar power and mobile phones.’
    â€˜Mobile phones? Now that’s a stupid idea,’ said the ninety-nine-point-seven. ‘I want my phone to stay where it’s meant to be. If it was mobile, I’d never know where to look for it.’
    The eyes of the remaining nought-point-three per cent began to glaze over.
    â€˜What about connecting with the outside world?’ they said. ‘Don’t you want to do that? Don’t you want to see what’s going on out there?’
    â€˜Have you seen out there?’
    â€˜Well, no. There’s a big enchanted firewall round our borders that means we can’t get anything– no internet, no telephone, nothing.’
    The ninety-nine-point-seven explained that there was a perfectly good reason for that and it was the fact that out there was run by humans and, as allwitches and wizards knew, humans were not only a bit stupid, they also did a lot of unpleasant and oft en dangerous things.
    â€˜Sure, they can be all right, but basically life is a lot easier if we just stay here,’ said the ninety-nine-point-seven.
    â€˜But what about progress?’ said the remaining nought-point-three per cent.
    â€˜There’s no future in it,’ said the ninety-nine-point-seven.
    It was at this point that the eyes of the remaining nought-point-three per cent glazed over a lot more and they began banging their heads against tree trunks and whimpering. Some of them, whose eyes had double-glazed over so they couldn’t see anything, just walked forwards until they collided with something. Then they started banging their heads against that, which was OK if the something was a horse or a girl, 21 but not so good if it was a high-voltage electric powerline or a huge pile of scrunched-up rusty barbed wire covered in anthrax.

    A month later King Nerlin Flood and Mr Hulbert opened the doors of the Parliament building.
    They got there quite early to be ready for the rush of people who were to be admitted at midday.
    â€˜I wonder how many we’ll get,’ said Nerlin. ‘I hope sixty-seven chairs will be enough.’
    â€˜Well, if there is a big queue outside,’ said Mr Hulbert, ‘they’re being very quiet.’
    On the dot of twelve a footman opened the doors and a mad uncontrollable rush of five people wandered in. They were all from the remaining nought-point-three per cent and their arrival reduced the excitement in the room, which had been almost zero, to minus fifty. After a wait of thirty minutes, another no more people had joined them.
    â€˜Where’s the cake?’ said one of the five people.
    â€˜Yes, we were told there would be cake,’ said another.
    â€˜And lemonade,’ said a third.
    â€˜It would appear that virtually no one wants to be a Member of Parliament,’ said Mr Hulbert. ‘We’ve