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a twenty-year stint” he was going to come back and kill my ass. After him, I left them ballin’ mu’fuckers alone and moved onto the niggas that were more apt to commit white-collar crimes. Whoever it was on my phone calling collect from the county jail, it was beyond me.
    When it came time for the person to state their name, all I heard was the same unknown female voice that called earlier say, “Come get me!” And then, when I pressed two for the person to repeat her name, she said, “Right now, goddamnit, Babygirl!” That’s when I realized that it was Aunt Cookie. Immediately I jumped out of the bed and left Taj, and his hard-on waiting for me.
    When I got to the precinct, it was six o’clock in the morning. I hadn’t seen the inside of this place since Shannon and I were arrested over a year ago. I walked in and asked the officer at the desk what the charges and bail were for Cookie Turner.
    â€œAssault with a deadly weapon,” is what the officer said as he looked on his computer screen. “Yep,” he said, pointing to the screen but looking in my face. “Assault. She lucky he didn’t kick her ass, is all I got to say.”
    â€œWell, nobody asked you what you had to say.”
    He rolled his eyes and informed me that Aunt Cookie’s bail was five thousand dollars cash. No exceptions.
    No exceptions , I thought. No exceptions? Humph, we’ll see about that. I stepped away from the counter where the officer was, flipped open my cell phone, and hit speed dial.
    â€œRoger?”
    â€œNo, Roberta.”
    â€œRoberta?” Oh, his wife. She had answered Roger’s cell phone. “Excuse me, but is Roger available?”
    â€œMaybe I should ask you.”
    â€œExcuse me?”
    â€œExcuse you? Excuse you? Excuse you for which time? The time where you had my husband and he missed his daughter’s graduation? Or excuse you for the time I waited at home with candles and dinner and my husband tripped over my bed and fell into yours?
    â€œLook, hun, perhaps you have me mistaken for someone else, but as far as I know, your husband loves you too much to be tripping over you and falling for someone else,” I said, lying like a damn dog. “Do you need to talk? Is something wrong?”
    â€œListen, don’t patronize me!” she shouted.
    â€œPatronize you? Sweetheart, from what I can see, your husband thinks of nothing but you.” Then I hit her with the famous line, “Roger and I are just friends.”
    â€œOh,” she said, sounding as if she were taken aback. “Well, you just remain friends, because he is my man. In any event, he isn’t here, but I’m sure that at some point, if you’re to be reached, he’ll find you.”
    Oh, no this bitch didn’t! Now see, if I ain’t need a favor from Roger, I woulda blew up her whole spot. I just about gagged at the thought of biting my tongue and spitting out this one: “I’ma pray for you, because I’m sure that you’re much too beautiful to be worried over Roger like this. You take care, Roberta.” Wit’ yo’ stupid-ass!
    â€œExcuse me,” I said, stepping back to the counter where the officer was. “Is Captain Roger Sims due to come in?”
    â€œCaptain Sims? Is he here? Yeah, this is his shift, but he doesn’t wanna see you.”
    This mu’fucker was working my last nerve. “Can you please call Captain Sims?”
    â€œWell, since you said please.”
    A few minutes later, Roger appeared with his back arched, like he actually had some backbone and wasn’t the same li’l weak link that liked his dick sucked and his asshole played with. The thought of that made me snicker. He actually looked good. He still seemed old, but he looked nice. It had been a month since I gave him the time of day, and I was sure that he would want some pussy when this was all over with, but I would have