Fletch Won Read Online Free PDF Page A

pardon?”
    “The smell of you. You seem sober enough, for anewspaperman, for a young man, but you reek of bourbon. It’s beginning to affect my stomach, and my head.”
    “I’m sorry,” Fletch said. “Truth be known, me, too.”
    “Well? What are we going to do about it?”
    Fletch looked at the back of the house. “Maybe I could go take a shower.”
    “If you said bourbon got splashed all over your clothes, your taking a shower and putting the same clothes back on won’t do any good.”
    “Right,” said Fletch. “That’s very sensible.” He nodded. “Very sensible.”
    “Why don’t you jump in the pool? It’s right there.”
    “I could do that.” Fletch began taking things out of his pockets. “With my clothes on.”
    “Why would you jump into the pool with your clothes on?”
    “To get the smell of bourbon off them?”
    “But then your clothes would be wet. You want to go around the rest of the day in wet clothes?”
    “It’s a hot day.”
    “Hotness has nothing to do with wetness.”
    “Hotness?”
    “My daughter used to say that. When she was a little girl.
Hotness
. No wonder she ended up married to a poet.
    What’s his name?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “Tom Farliegh.”
    “Okay. I was going to ask you about your children.”
    “They’re fine, thank you. Obviously, you take your clothes off before you jump in the pool.”
    “Then I won’t have any clothes on.”
    “I mind? I’m a mother and a grandmother. I don’t mind. This is a private pool.” She looked down the slope at the gardener. “That’s Pedro. He doesn’t mind. If he minds seeing a naked man, he shouldn’t be a gardener.”
    “Clearly.”
    Mrs. Habeck stood up. “Take off your clothes. I’ll avert my eyes so you can tell your girl friend no woman has seen you naked since your mother last changed your diapers. Last week, was it?”
    Fletch was taking off his sneakers. “Really, I don’t mind.”
    “Leave your clothes on the chair. After you get in the pool, say
Hallooo
, and I’ll pick up your clothes, take them inside, and put them in the washer and then the dryer.”
    “This is very nice of you.” Standing, Fletch peeled off his stinking T-shirt.
    “Hallooo!” Mrs. Habeck called loudly. She was waving at the gardener.
    He raised his head and looked at her from under his sombrero. He did not speak or wave back.
    Fletch averted his eyes. He took off his jeans and underpants and dived into the pool.
    Enjoying the cool water and getting away from the stink of his clothes, he drifted underwater across the pool, turned, and swam back to the nearer edge.
    He stuck his nose above the edge of the pool.
    “Hallooo,” he said.
    Mrs. Habeck was already headed for the house with his clothes and sneakers.
    She was also carrying her red pocketbook.

“Hey!”
    It was the third time Fletch had heard someone yell that, but this time, just as he was about to make his turn between laps, the shout was distinct. There could be no doubt it was he who was being hailed. He put his hand on the pool ledge and raised his head.
    As water cleared from his opened eyes, he saw Biff Wilson, fully dressed, including suit coat and tie, standing on the pool edge.
    “Hallooo,” Fletch said.
    “God,” Biff said. “It’s you.”
    “No, it’s not,” said Fletch. “It’s Fletcher.”
    Two meters behind Biff stood Lieutenant Gomez.
    “That your name? Fletcher?”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “You were just in the parking lot of the
News-Tribune
.”
    “Yes, sir.”
    “How did you get here so fast?”
    “I didn’t stop for coffee.”
    “Are you the reason that young cop asked me if I have false teeth?”
    “False what?”
    Biff stuck his thumb under his upper front teeth and demonstrated how solid they were. “False feeph!”
    “Gee, Biff, that gum cement you use must be pretty good.”
    Biff gave Gomez a tired look, then turned to Fletch. “Are you or are you not an employee of the
News-Tribune
?”
    “I am. Sir.”
    Biff spoke