Flesh: Part Fourteen (The Flesh Series Book 14) Read Online Free PDF Page A

so stupid.”
I rub my eyes, smearing my makeup.
    “ Now
probably isn't the best time to tell you that I told you so, but it
will be coming later. You wait for it.” She points at me with a
smirk, trying to be playful, though it's entirely inappropriate at
the moment.
    “ God,
Janice, I hate that I overreacted. I feel like I should call him.”
I grab my purse off of the coffee table and dig through it for my
phone.
    Janice puts her hand
on my arm to stop me, her brown eyes meeting mine. “Don't.
You're emotional right now. Give it a day. You need to cool down and
collect your thoughts.”
    I know she's right,
but I can't stand the thought of leaving things the way they are
between Lucian and I. Even though I still don't want to be his
submissive, I feel like this can be fixed somehow. I have to be able
to fix it. I was so mean to him. The memory of me bringing up his
dead wife makes me start crying all over again. What a horrible
person I am.
    “ Hey.
You stop that right now.” Janice slugs me lightly on my
shoulder.
    “ Ow.”
I rub it, scowling at her.
    “ I
know what will make this better.”
    “ Lots
and lots of chocolate cake.” I pout, hoping that my misery
coupled with the not so subtle hint will coax her into baking a cake
for us.
    “ No.”
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
    “ What
then?” I wrinkle my nose, disappointed.
    “ You
should go to Flesh and fuck around with another Dom. That would
really tick him off.”
    My mouth falls open
from the suggestion. “Janice Elledge!” I lightly backhand
her knee. “For one, I'm not a slut. And for two, I'm not
vindictive like that. I want to make things better between us, not
worse.”
    “ Suit
yourself.” She shrugs. “I'm just saying that my Dom is
going to be free on Sunday night, and he's really good.”
    “ How
do you know he's going to be free?” I quirk an eyebrow at her.
    “ Because
I'm switching to a different Dom.”
    “ Why?”
My eyes widen in shock. “I thought you liked your Sir.”
    “ I
do like him, but I think I'm ready to kick things up a notch, and he
doesn't do a lot of the stuff I want to try.” She tilts her
head thoughtfully.
    “ Well,
I'm still not interested. If things don't work out between Lucian and
me, then I don't want anything to do with the lifestyle ever again.”
I cross my arms over my chest.
    “ That's
a pity. It can be really fun.” She grins.
    “ To
each her own.”
    “ Indeed.
Well, I need to get to bed. You should try to get some rest too.”
She pats my shoulder and stands.
    “ Yeah.
Easier said than done.” I look up at her, a bit sad that our
talk is over. I know she needs sleep though, and so do I. It's going
to be another long day tomorrow. A day that I'm sure will be mostly
spent thinking about Lucian.

    ***

    Despite our
conversation from the night before, there are no new emails from
Lucian in my inbox. Perhaps he has decided to abandon the project
after all. With all the low blows I threw at him, I wouldn't be
surprised. We left each other angry, and that's never a good thing.
    Now that I'm at
work, I'm back in the mode of thinking that I should have just gone
along with whatever Lucian wanted until his interior design contract
was over. That would have been using him though, and I know it's not
right. I'd like to think that's not who I am, but I'm not so sure
anymore. This is the first time in a very long time that I feel like
I've lost my identity. Lucian has screwed me up so badly that I don't
even recognize the face staring back at me when I look in the mirror
anymore.
    Perhaps the fight
was a good thing. Maybe I should be happy about it. Not long ago, I
wanted to get away from him, and now it seems that I have.
    Hours of no actual
work makes me dwell on last night's conversation for most of the work
day. There's an intense feeling of guilt inside of me that won't go
away. At the very least, I need to apologize for some of the things
that I said to him.
    Right before lunch,
I break