Five Go Glamping Read Online Free PDF Page B

‘Yes, thank you.’
    Ayesha was always a little bit subdued on Monday mornings, but normally responded with ‘Messy’ or ‘Totally off my face’ or ‘can’t remember’. Usually she livened up before lunch and told me everything she’d got up to and all about her complicated love life. Perhaps she really had been ill. It was certainly within the realms of possibility. Or maybe Doris and Ayesha had been bickering again and I’d missed an almighty row. Maybe one of them had brought up the missing Blueberry Activia yoghurt saga again.
    Ayesha had insisted it wasn’t her who took it, Doris was convinced it could be no one else. Ayesha had suggested it could have been one of the girls from finance – because if anyone needed bifidus digestivum, it was those lot. Doris had said that you couldn’t tell by looking at anyone whether they needed beneficial bacteria or not and Ayesha said that indeed she could because she had done GCSE Food Technology. This had upset Doris a lot because they didn’t have GCSEs in her day or Food Technology or Computers. But were they really still arguing over a yoghurt? Surely not?
    ‘Who likes my new mug, it’s gorgeous isn’t it? I bought it in Selfridges. And… it hasn’t got any cats on it. Ta dah!’ I did my best magician’s assistant impression and used my hands to frame the mug, drawing attention to it from different angles but no one seemed to be taking any notice so I added another ‘Ta-dah.’
    I was disappointed with their lack of enthusiasm so I took a photo of my mug and uploaded it on Facebook.
    ‘Drink anyone?’
    Doris said nothing, her head was bowed and Ayesha didn’t answer but was motioning to something behind me with her head, making her eyes big and raising her eyebrows. I recognised the look. Last time she did it was when she’d been to Global Gathering for the weekend, but this time it looked intentional, rather than involuntary. Puzzling.
    ‘What are you doing with your head, you mentalist?’
    Then it clicked. How could I have not recognised the international distress signal for ‘Jurassic Bleach is behind you’?
    ‘Oh.’ The tea would have to wait. If I didn’t acknowledge him, maybe he would go away and find someone else to talk to about velociraptors and Domestos.
    But it wasn’t him. It was something much, much worse.
    ‘Nice of you to join us Fiona, are you taking your coat off or not staying?’
    It was Juliet Jackson. Regional Manager. AKA The Wicked Witch of The West Midlands. Like Doris, she had been with the company for forty years. She was the same age as Doris, but looked twenty years younger. She wore an expensive suit and always had the shiniest tights.
    ‘Juliet! Hi. I didn’t know you were visiting this week.’ Then I actually gulped. This woman was pure evil. She was probably going to sack me on the spot for being late. Last time she was here, she gave Phil in IT a disciplinary because she’d caught him on the internet looking at The Jedi Federation of Rowley Regis’s website in work time. He’d left the office in tears and spent the next week actually rocking. He hasn’t really been the same since. He wears a shirt and tie to work now instead of comic book T-shirts, and he’s stopped talking like Yoda when we ask him for IT help.
    ‘Can I have a word, Fiona? Pop into the office for a sec?’
    Ayesha looked terrified. Doris looked up at me and smiled. This was bad, very bad.
    ‘Popping’ into the office sounded so innocent and fun, like there might be a tea party in there or puppies. And yet every bone in my body told me I wasn’t to go in that room. It was like a horror film when you know you are not really supposed to look in the basement because something bad will happen to you, but you feel compelled to even though you know there’s mad axe murderers hiding in there waiting to kill you and eat you. From where I was standing, I would rather fancy my chances with the mad axe murderers than Juliet.
    Everyone in the