Five Days Read Online Free PDF Page A

there, it’s clear that he’s quietly uncomfortable with the fact that the boy he always wrote off as different, weird, not the sort of son he expected, is very much coming into his own – and being publicly praised for that. I often tell myself that once Dan finds a good job again, all will be well. Just as I simultaneously think: If only an instant fix could change everything.
    Bing.
    More pips, informing me that this newly arrived text was demanding my attention. I now had the phone in my hand and was squinting at the screen, the sunlight blurring the message. Cupping my hand around it I could make out the following words:
    Please call me now . . . Ben
    Immediately I felt anxiety coursing everywhere within me. The same anxiety that now hits whenever Ben sends me one of these messages. My son is currently in a somewhat dark place. From the outside – if you just look objectively at the facts – it might seem like much ado about a silly romance. Nine months ago Ben met a young woman named Allison Fell. Like him she’s studying visual art at Farmington. Her father is a big-deal lawyer in Portland. They live in one of those big houses that hug the coast in Cape Elizabeth – the most exclusive suburb of the city. I gather that her parents were wildly disappointed when she didn’t get into a variety of ultra-prestigious colleges (‘I was never that into studying,’ she told me) and had to ‘make do’ with U Maine Farmington (which has actually become quite a respected liberal arts college, despite the State U tag). She’s relatively pretty and seriously bohemian; the sort of nineteen-year-old who dresses all the time in black, keeps her long nails also painted black, and wears her elbow-length black hair in an elaborate braid. I often think she targeted Ben because he was the most talented of the small group of young visual artists at Farmington and because he was so ‘cute and vulnerable’. For Ben, the fact that this very outgoing, very confident, very flamboyant, rather rich young woman wanted him . . . well, considering how in high school he was girlfriend-less and often considered himself ‘something of a freak’, he was just completely overwhelmed by Allison’s desire for him. Just as I’m pretty sure she also introduced him to the pleasures of sex.
    All this started in January of this year – though Ben told me nothing about it until Easter when he was back from college. He asked if we could go out to Moody’s Diner for lunch. There, over grilled cheese sandwiches, he informed me, in such a shy, hesitating way, that he’d met someone. His difficulty in articulating this – the way he also said, ‘Please don’t tell Dad. I don’t think he’ll like her’ – filled my heart with such love and worry for him. Because I could see that he was in an unknown territory and rather deluged by it all.
    â€˜What do you feel exactly for Allison?’ I asked him at the time.
    â€˜I want to marry her,’ he blurted out, then blushed a deep red.
    â€˜I see,’ I said, trying to sound as neutral as possible. ‘And does Allison want this?’
    â€˜Absolutely. She said I am the love of her life.’
    â€˜Well . . . that’s lovely. Truly lovely. But . . . you’ve been together how long?’
    â€˜Ninety-one days.’
    â€˜I see,’ I said again, thinking:
Oh my God, he knows the exact number of days and maybe even the exact number of hours.
    â€˜First love is always so . . . surprising,’ I said. ‘You really cannot believe it. And while I certainly don’t want to rain on your parade . . .’
    Oh God, why did I use that cliché?
    â€˜. . . but . . . all I’m saying to you, is – how wonderful! Just give it all a little time.’
    â€˜I love her, Mom . . . and she loves me.’
    â€˜Well