Finding the Center Within: The Healing Way of Mindfulness Meditation. Read Online Free PDF Page A
Author: Thomas Bien
most spiritually advanced and psychologically whole among us will be thrown off. 01 BIEN.qxd 7/16/03 9:44 AM Page 6
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F I N D I N G T H E C E N T E R W I T H I N
Among the negative changes, there are the obvious traumatic events, such as the death of a spouse, parent, child, or other loved one; the unexpected and undesired divorce; the major health problem. These are difficult passages, requiring time, patience, and a lot of support from others. We are thrown out of rhythm and balance. And indeed it would be strange and unnatural if death or major loss did not affect us deeply. For a time, life is empty and pointless. But as time passes, we resume our lives and go on. As we move through our grief, we begin to heal and gradually we are able to return to center. Eventually we integrate the loss and function again, though we remain changed by the experience. Less generally acknowledged is that positive changes, such as promotions, marriage, career changes, graduations, significant success, and the birth of children, are also difficult curveballs. While we may feel incredibly happy, the earth is shifting beneath our feet, and it can be difficult to stay centered and peaceful. And so even in the face of good fortune, we may lose our center. Life’s curveballs, while difficult, are nonetheless opportunities for learning and growth to take place. Life is a school and the universe is constantly sending us lessons. But we need a way to come back to the center so that we can look at the havoc that these events can wreak on our psychospiritual well-being, understand them, and continue on our path.
But perhaps even more important are the background tensions, the chronic conditions of modern life that make it difficult to stay centered during times of major change.
Open to Abundance
So why do we lose our way even when there are no major losses or changes? What knocks us off course and prevents us from holding onto that balanced, peaceful place: the center within?
In Buddhist cosmology there is a strange and peculiar realm called the land of hungry ghosts. The land of hungry ghosts overflows, as the Bible would put it, with milk and honey. It is a land of abundance. The beings that dwell there, however, are a little strange. They have huge, empty, distended bellies and tiny, pin-size openings for mouths. This is a picture, in other words, of a huge appetite, but an inability to satisfy it no matter how abundant the surrounding world. In fact, the hellish as-01 BIEN.qxd 7/16/03 9:44 AM Page 7
K N O W W H E R E Y O U A R E
7
pect of this realm is not that anything is lacking, but rather, that everything is there, right in front of you, readily and easily available. Only you cannot avail yourself of it because you can never get enough of it through your tiny mouth. It is not lack, but the inability to open to the sur- rounding abundance that is the source of the torture. In some ways the developed nations of the West are just such a realm. We live in a land overflowing and abundant, but we are plagued by anxiety, depression, and dissatisfaction. Instead of enjoying the abundance, we focus on what is lacking. Like hungry ghosts, we never get enough. The abundance only convinces us that we are not getting our share, increasing our already swollen appetites. No matter how much we have, the focus remains on having more.
The point is not so much that desire is wrong per se. You are not a materialist for wanting abundance or a careerist for desiring success. The universe is generous and longs to bless you with your heart’s desire. But these things can become problematic when we put them at the center. Desire can lead to an endless cycle. While we imagine a particular level of wealth will suffice, once achieved, this level is no longer quite enough. We then need still a little more. The attempt to find peace by such means is an attempt to quench our thirst with saltwater: the very nature of our efforts only makes it worse. Escape from the
6
F I N D I N G T H E C E N T E R W I T H I N
Among the negative changes, there are the obvious traumatic events, such as the death of a spouse, parent, child, or other loved one; the unexpected and undesired divorce; the major health problem. These are difficult passages, requiring time, patience, and a lot of support from others. We are thrown out of rhythm and balance. And indeed it would be strange and unnatural if death or major loss did not affect us deeply. For a time, life is empty and pointless. But as time passes, we resume our lives and go on. As we move through our grief, we begin to heal and gradually we are able to return to center. Eventually we integrate the loss and function again, though we remain changed by the experience. Less generally acknowledged is that positive changes, such as promotions, marriage, career changes, graduations, significant success, and the birth of children, are also difficult curveballs. While we may feel incredibly happy, the earth is shifting beneath our feet, and it can be difficult to stay centered and peaceful. And so even in the face of good fortune, we may lose our center. Life’s curveballs, while difficult, are nonetheless opportunities for learning and growth to take place. Life is a school and the universe is constantly sending us lessons. But we need a way to come back to the center so that we can look at the havoc that these events can wreak on our psychospiritual well-being, understand them, and continue on our path.
But perhaps even more important are the background tensions, the chronic conditions of modern life that make it difficult to stay centered during times of major change.
Open to Abundance
So why do we lose our way even when there are no major losses or changes? What knocks us off course and prevents us from holding onto that balanced, peaceful place: the center within?
In Buddhist cosmology there is a strange and peculiar realm called the land of hungry ghosts. The land of hungry ghosts overflows, as the Bible would put it, with milk and honey. It is a land of abundance. The beings that dwell there, however, are a little strange. They have huge, empty, distended bellies and tiny, pin-size openings for mouths. This is a picture, in other words, of a huge appetite, but an inability to satisfy it no matter how abundant the surrounding world. In fact, the hellish as-01 BIEN.qxd 7/16/03 9:44 AM Page 7
K N O W W H E R E Y O U A R E
7
pect of this realm is not that anything is lacking, but rather, that everything is there, right in front of you, readily and easily available. Only you cannot avail yourself of it because you can never get enough of it through your tiny mouth. It is not lack, but the inability to open to the sur- rounding abundance that is the source of the torture. In some ways the developed nations of the West are just such a realm. We live in a land overflowing and abundant, but we are plagued by anxiety, depression, and dissatisfaction. Instead of enjoying the abundance, we focus on what is lacking. Like hungry ghosts, we never get enough. The abundance only convinces us that we are not getting our share, increasing our already swollen appetites. No matter how much we have, the focus remains on having more.
The point is not so much that desire is wrong per se. You are not a materialist for wanting abundance or a careerist for desiring success. The universe is generous and longs to bless you with your heart’s desire. But these things can become problematic when we put them at the center. Desire can lead to an endless cycle. While we imagine a particular level of wealth will suffice, once achieved, this level is no longer quite enough. We then need still a little more. The attempt to find peace by such means is an attempt to quench our thirst with saltwater: the very nature of our efforts only makes it worse. Escape from the
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