Finding Solace Read Online Free PDF Page A

walk. Neither of us
obviously wanted to be the one to start this much needed conversation.
      We got to
the driveway when I turned around to face him. Why should it be me to explain?
Explain what, exactly? That he amazed me. That when I was around him all I
could do was smile? Which is the very reason why I was acting the way I was. Because I was scared, and did not want that feeling to end.
      "There
you go over thinking again."
      “Really? Is that what I'm doing?"
      “Well, I can
see it all turning in your head."
      "If
you’re so wise, then tell me what it is that I'm thinking."
      “Well for
starters, you are thinking I'm a dick, that I never should have started
something that I didn't want to finish and that only a chicken shit would take
the way out I took.”
      "Keep
going."
      "That
you never gave me reason to believe I needed to run."
      "Not
that I want to give you any credit, but you’re pretty spot on."
      "Sadie,"
he gasped for air, like it pained him to keep going. I wanted to watch him
suffer but if I was honest with myself, really, I just wanted to know why?
      "Colt, just talk to me. Since when did you feel you
couldn't? "
      "You are
right. You’re so right. That's part of the reason behind all of this. Sadie,
you took me by storm. I know I told you all about Jamie. What I think, is I left
the most important part out. When you’re in love it never feels wrong. You hear
people tell you you’re too young, that you need to experience life before you
settle down. But you think they all are full of shit. If they could feel what
you’re feeling, they would know that it would be foolish to give that up. Well,
in hind sight, I see now that they were partially right. I wouldn't trade what
Jamie and I shared, or made for that matter, for the world. But I didn't get to
experience anything other than us or what we had. I met her young. I never
dated other people. I never just had me to worry about. I know that really, I
will never have that again because I will always have Maddie. But I came here
thinking, this is my second chance. This is my opportunity to live my life. I
know that sounds so fucking selfish. But when I met you, God Sadie! You have no
idea what was happening to me. I was falling. So fast and so
hard. I'm not ready to do that again. I don't want to go there
yet."
      I sat there
taking all that he said in. It made sense. He deserved what he was asking life
for. So I did the only thing that made sense to me at the time. I lied.
      "Did I
say I wanted more? Did I give you any reason to think I wanted anything more
than for us to hang out and have a good time? Colt, I'm twenty years old. I
don't want serious. I just liked spending time with you."
      He grabbed
me, picked me up and spun me around saying, “Thank God! Thank you!”
      I could not
help but laugh at his reaction. Then he set me down slowly, like the whole mood
had changed in a second. His hands were on my face and his lips were crashing
down on me. He kissed me like he thought he would never get the chance again. I
was so confused. But I guessed this was still having fun, so I was going with it.
We kissed for what seemed like forever. Well, until a person cleared their
throat. I pulled back and saw it was the girl Colt came out of the bedroom
with. I wasn't sure exactly what to do with the friend zone I was just placed
in. So I looked him in the eye and smiled, then I turned and walked back in the
house with my head held high.
     
     
    CHAPTER 6
      When
I walked back in, everyone was gathered around the giant flat screen. It was
time for the main event. Mike's opponent entered the cage first. He got a
decent amount of cheers but when Mike entered just a few minutes later, the
applause from the crowd went completely wild, and so did we. It never got old
seeing him like this. I know he trains brutally but it always worries me that
it is not enough. That one of these times he's not going to come out of the
cage,