Finding Chase (Chasing Nikki) Read Online Free PDF Page A

looks at me. I want things to be normal—like they were before she died. We used to joke around and razz each other about everything. Quit treating me like I’m so fragile I’m gonna break.”
    “We did think you were going to break for a while. It was scary.”
    I glanced over. “What do you mean?”
    “We thought you were suicidal. Brett and I were worried you might do something to hurt yourself.” She paused and waited. When I didn’t reply, she continued. “Were we right? Did you want to die?”
    I snorted. “Every single day. I’d even started planning how I’d do it.”
    She closed her eyes, as if what I was telling her was too painful to hear. “Why didn’t you?”
    “Her mom let me read her journal. There was a letter to me in there. She went on and on about how much she loved me, how I was amazing and wonderful.” I recalled her words perfectly—I’d reread them so many times. “She told me to never give up—she was proud of me and my accomplishments. After that, I felt like I would be letting her down—if I kill myself, I’m not the guy she thought I was. Maybe it’s silly, but I don’t want to disappoint her anymore than I have.”
    “It’s not silly, and I think she must be proud of you.”
    I sighed, scanning the view in front of us before gazing up at the sky for a moment. “You think she’s still out there somewhere?”
    “I do, and she’s probably watching over you every second. She loved you a lot.”
    The emotion was getting too thick again, and I could feel the panic starting to rise. “Tell me something happy about her,” I pleaded. I needed to change the solemn mood.
    “Ok. Let me think.” She leaned against the headrest. “From any time?”
    “Sure.” I just wanted her to talk.
    “Well, Tana has known her longer, of course, so they’ve always been the best of best friends. They adopted me later on when I moved to Silver Creek in middle school. Tana didn’t really care for me at first, because one of the boys she liked started paying attention to me. She was determined to give me the cold shoulder, but Nikki kept inviting me to do stuff with them. It was a little awkward at first, but eventually Tana warmed up.”
    “Did you steal her guy?” I asked with a snicker.
    “Yes, I did, but it didn’t matter because soon she only had eyes for Brett. Did you know they were a couple back then too?”
    “Yeah, he told me. Nikki and I conspired to set them up again.” Thinking about it made me smile.
    “It doesn’t surprise me. Nikki was probably one of the most incurable romantics I know.” She laughed. “She always wanted her white knight to come in and sweep her off her feet.”
    I grimaced. “And she got me instead.”
    She punched me in the shoulder. “Whatever! You were totally her white knight.”
    I scoffed, sending her an offended look. “Are you saying I can’t tan? I totally can. Look at these arms—brown.”
    She giggled. “You know what I mean. You were perfect for her. Besides, I don’t think farmer tans count as real tans.”
    “Oh, I’m officially wounded! You did not just say I have a farmer tan!”
    “If the shoe fits . . . ,” she trailed off, clearly challenging me.
    I lifted the hem of my shirt, displaying my brown stomach, making sure I flexed too, so she could clearly see my abs. “This is not a farmer tan.”
    Her eyes widened, and she stared for a second before looking quickly away. “Impressive,” she said, her face flushing with color. “Put your shirt down, Walker. There’s no need for nudity to prove your point.”
    I dropped it back in place. There was suddenly a weird tension, and I wasn’t entirely sure I liked it. I cleared my throat. “So you admit you’re wrong?” I asked, trying to move past the awkwardness.
    Her face colored again, and she turned her head farther away, staring through the window at the scenery. “Yes,” she said quietly. “You look very nice.”
    “Nice.” I cringed. “That word has to