Finding Audrey Read Online Free PDF Page B

to Felix. Second of all, do you realize how toxic this sugar is to your body? Do you?
    Frank doesn’t reply, just glowers at her.
    MUM
    How much exercise do you take per week?
    FRANK
    Plenty.
    MUM
    Well, it’s not enough. We’re going on a run tomorrow.
    FRANK
    (outraged)
    A run? Are you serious? A RUN?
    MUM
    You need to get out more. When I was your age, I lived outside! I was always playing sport, enjoying nature, walking through the woods, appreciating the outside world . . .
    FRANK
    Last week you said when you were our age you were ‘always reading books’.
    MUM
    Well, I was. I did both.
    AUDREY
    (from behind camera)
    Last year you said when you were our age you were ‘always going to museums and cultural events’.
    Mum looks caught out.
    MUM
    (snaps)
    I was doing all of it. Anyway, we’re going for a run tomorrow. This is non-negotiable.
    (as Frank draws breath)
    Non-negotiable. NON-NEGOTIABLE, FRANK.
    FRANK
    Fine. Fine.
    MUM
    (over-casually)
    Oh, and Frank. I was just wondering. There were some nice girls in your school play, weren’t there? Anyone on the . . . you know . . . horizon? You should ask them round!
    Frank gives her a withering look. The doorbell rings and Frank looks warningly at the camera.
    FRANK
    Hey, Aud, this is Linus, if you want to . . . you know. Get out of the way.
    AUDREY (V.O.)
    Thanks.
    Mum disappears into the kitchen. Frank heads towards the front door. The camera backs away but has a view of the front door.
    Frank opens the front door to reveal LINUS.
    FRANK
    Hey.
    LINUS
    Hey.
    Linus glances at the camera and it quickly swoops away and retreats.
    Then, slowly, from a further distance it comes back to rest on Linus’s face. It zooms in.

 
    I mean, I was just filming him because he’s Frank’s friend. It’s just, you know. Family context or whatever.
    OK. And he has a nice face.
    Which I have watched on playback a few times.

The next day after breakfast Mum comes down in leggings, a pink crop top and trainers. She has a heart-rate monitor strapped round her chest and is holding a water bottle.
    ‘Ready?’ she calls up the stairs. ‘Frank! We’re going! Frank! FRANK!’
    After an age, Frank appears. He’s wearing black jeans, a black T-shirt, his usual trainers and a scowl.
    ‘You can’t run like that,’ says Mum at once.
    ‘Yes I can.’
    ‘No you can’t. Don’t you have any athletics shorts?’
    ‘
Athletics
shorts?’
    Frank’s look of disdain is so terrible, I give a snort.
    ‘What’s wrong with athletics shorts?’ says Mum defensively. ‘That’s the trouble with you young people. You’re closed minded. You’re prejudiced.’
    You young people.
Three words which signal that a Mum-rant is coming. I look at her from the sitting-room doorway, and sure enough, the other signs are building. Her eyes are full of thoughts . . . she clearly has things to say . . . she’s breathing fast . . .
    And bingo.
    ‘You know, Frank, you only get one body!’ She turns on him. ‘You have to treasure it! You have to take care of it! And what worries me is you seem to have no idea about health, no idea about fitness – all you want to eat is junk . . .’
    ‘We’ll have robotic body-part replacements by the time we’re your age,’ says Frank, unmoved. ‘So.’
    ‘Do you know how many people your age have diabetes?’ Mum continues. ‘Do you know how many teens these days are obese? And don’t even get me started on heart problems.’
    ‘OK, I won’t get you started on heart problems,’ says Frank mildly, which seems to enrage her.
    ‘And you know what it is? It’s all the fault of these evil screens. Some children your age can’t even get up off the couch!’
    ‘How many?’ retorts Frank.
    ‘What?’ Mum looks at him, puzzled.
    ‘How many children my age can’t even get up off the couch? Because that sounds like BS to me. Did you read it in the
Daily Mail
?’
    Mum glares at him. ‘A significant number.’
    ‘Like, three. Because