Fifty Shades of Shade - "The Fifty Shades of Grey Parady" Read Online Free PDF Page B

often.”
                  “Do you always make such personal observations?”
                  “Have I offended you?” He takes a bite out of a blueberry muffin. Even the piece of muffin being chewed in his mouth is sexy.
                  “No.”
                  “Good.”
                  “But, you’re very high-handed.”
                  He raises his eyebrows. They sparkle, somehow.
                  “I’m used to getting my own way, Chastity . In all things.”
                  “Why haven’t you asked me to call you by your first name?” I feel brave asking him. I even puff my chest out a little before losing my breath. How did this conversation turn so serious? Is he trying to turn me off?
                  “The only people who use my given name are my family and a few close friends. That’s the way I like it.”
                  What a control freak. Maybe Melissa and him should hook-up instead. Melissa-Shade. I slap myself in the head for thinking it. The person at the table next to me looks at me weird. Shade gives me a sidelong glance.
                  “Tell me everything about your family,” he says.
                  “My mom lives in Alabama with her husband. My stepdad lives in Montesano.”
                  “And your father?”
                  “Died when I was a baby.”
                  “And is he still dead?”
                  “Yes.”
                  “I’m sorry.” A troubled look crosses his face.
                  “And your mother remarried?”
                  I snort, loud and drawn-out. “You could say that.”
                  “You’re not giving much away. I remember you asking me personal questions.”
                  Holy high-heeled crap nuggets! He remembered the “gay” question. I’m mortified. I start babbling nonsense to not think about it.
              “Mango stamp wiggle waggle.”
                  “That was gibberish,” he coolly point out.
                  “My mom is a hopeless romantic. She’s on her fourth husband.”
                  Sebastian raises his eyebrows. They had gone back down from the last time he raised them.
                  “Do you get along with your stepfather?”
                  “Rick?...He’s taciturn.” That was my word today on my word-a-day calendar.
                  “Taciturn like his stepdaughter,” Shade prompts.
                  My eyes begin to roll at him, but I stop them halfway with my two fingers. The rolling of my eyes is so strong it eventually won.
                  “You lived with him?”
                  “Yes, my mom met Hubby number three when I was fifteen. I stayed with Rick.”
                  He frowns, curiously.
                  “Tell me about your parents,” I ask.
                  He shrugs. His shoulders making an ethereal chime sound.
                  “My dad’s a lawyer and my mom is a pediatrician.”
                  “What do your siblings do?”
                  “Windsor is in construction and my little sister is in Paris, earning Michelin stars or something.” He doesn’t like to talk about himself or his family. I wonder why. It’s almost psychological-like.
                  “I hear Paris is nice. But it’s England I really want to visit.”
                  “Because?”
                  Concentrate, Stool . Stop getting girl boners.
                  “It’s the home of Shakespeare, Jane Austen, the Brontes, E.L. James. I’d like to see the places that inspired them to write great