Fifth Grave Past the Light Read Online Free PDF

out?”
    “Charley,” she said, her voice sharp with warning.
    “Okay, okay. But for future reference, never pull a gun unless you’re willing to use it. Anyway, firing your sidearm is only a small part of the class. By the time you get to that point, you’ll be comfortable enough with everyone to take off your bra. Don’t. Trust me. It never ends well. Before that, he’ll go over specific laws and give you real-life scenarios, self-defense situations to mull over. You know, everyday things.” I scooted closer to her. “Cook, he’s going to ask you if you’re ready to kill someone.”
    “What? Like right now?”
    “No, he’ll probably give you a scenario and ask if you’d be willing to pull the trigger.”
    “Wonderful.” Again, she said it but I questioned her sincerity.
    “And then he’ll teach you different techniques. How to enter a room when there’s a terrorist raiding your refrigerator. What to do if someone breaks down your front door with an axe. It’s all about staying alive and defending yourself and your family.” When she only stared off into space, I added, “You’ll do fine, Cook.”
    Oh yeah, that special place in hell was looking more and more likely by the minute.

3
     
    667: The neighbor of the beast.
    — BUMPER STICKER
     
    The moment I could feel my knees again, I decided to check on my old friend-ish type person-slash-associate of sorts, Garrett Swopes. He was always good for a laugh. On the way over, I pulled up one of my new, possibly pirated GPS apps my friend Pari told me about. So even though I could find his house with my eyes closed – a feat I was fairly certain I’d done one night during a bout with insomnia – I brought up the app on my phone, picked a voice, and plugged it into the auxiliary outlet. Heavy breathing, as though someone were on life support and breathing through a machine, flooded the car. It might not have been so creepy if it weren’t dark out. I punched in my destination, i.e., Garrett’s address, then hit Route.
    “In three hundred feet, turn right,” Darth Vader said.
The
Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him anything.
    “Thanks, Mr. Vader. Can I call you Darth?”
    He didn’t answer, but that was okay. As the non-favored child of a stepmother, I was used to being ignored. I headed that way.
    The breathing sounded again. “In fifty feet, turn right.”
    “Okay, well, thanks again.”
    We did that the whole way. Him telling me what to do. Me thanking him. I suddenly felt dirty, like he was using me for his own amusement. This relationship seemed very one-sided.
    When I was almost there, Darth spoke again. “In two hundred feet, your destination will be on the right. Your journey to the dark side is almost complete.”
    Why did I get the feeling he was related to Reyes?
    “Your destination is on the right.”
    “Yeah, okay, got it. Had it before.”
    “Your journey to the —”
    I exited the app before he could finish his sentence. It seemed wrong to cut him off prematurely, but I could take only so much heavy breathing before inappropriate thoughts involving whipped cream and a Ping-Pong paddle crept into my mind. And I was going to see Garrett Swopes. While not anywhere near the top of my to-do list, the guy’s abs were to die for.
    I hopped out of Misery, my beloved cherry red Jeep Wrangler, and strolled to his front door. He lived in a small bungalow-style house with lots of lush vegetation, which was kind of unusual for Albuquerque. We were more of a lush-free kind of state. Sparse was more our style. I knocked before realizing his truck wasn’t out front like usual.
    The door opened anyway and an exhausted-looking bond enforcement agent in dire need of a shave stood before me. Garrett Swopes was a lot like a hot gay friend only he wasn’t gay, which was too bad because then I could tell him how hot he was without him getting the wrong idea. He had smooth mocha-colored skin that made the silvery