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people I have ever met in my life. She is very set in her ways. You can’t mess with Fleur. What I really respect about her is when she says no, she means no. You really can’t persuade her. No is no with Fleur. She went to a school in London, but I introduced her to Sammy and we were a great team. She’s more like a cousin actually. I can’t remember spending a summer or Christmas without her. There are very few people that I trust, but I would tell Fleur anything knowing that she wouldn’t tell anyone.
    The great thing about Fleur is she sees me as the Kelly who she knew when we were growing up. Around the time that The Osbournes started we had come over to London. I’d gone out in Camden, north London, to a bar with Fleur and Sammy. I was stood getting the drinks when this girl came over and said, ‘You’re Kelly Osbourne and you’re fat and ugly. Isn’t it a shame you can’t be as attractive as your mother?’ I thought, ‘What the fuck?’ So I pushed her and we got into a scuffle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that her friends had started on Sammy and Fleur and one girl was pulling their hair.
    ‘One afternoon, Sammy and I set up the video camera in her living room and recorded a whole dance routine we’d made up to the Madonna song “Papa Don’t Preach”.’
    I was so pissed off I went marching over and began pushing them off. I felt so bad that they were being attacked because of me.
    The story ended up in one of the papers, so Fleur cut it out and framed it. From that day on she has cut out and framed every single embarrassing story and picture of me and hung it on the wall behind her drinks bar at home. That’s been one way of keeping my feet on the ground.
    When you’re in the public eye there are so many fake friends out there. It’s so easy to spot them. When I suspect that someone doesn’t really want to be my friend but likes the idea of knowing a celebrity, I always ask them to do something for me that I would never ask anyoneto do for me. And if they do it and don’t turn around and say, ‘What the fuck are you asking me to do?’ I know that they’re a fake. You know, like I’ll ask them to pass me my drink even though it’s just three inches away from my hand. It’s sick that you even have to ask people to do that. But with Sammy it really was very different. She didn’t have to be my friend, but she chose to be.
    During school time, my life was pretty much the same as everyone else’s in my class. When my dad was home from touring, I was sometimes very reluctant to bring my friends home after school. I wasn’t always sure what state my dad would be in and I didn’t want to be embarrassed.
    When we broke up for the summer holidays, I knew that I would be going off to do something completely different from my friends. My mum didn’t like us spending too much time away from Dad so, whenever we could, we would always go and join him on the road. It meant we got to fly all over the world to places like America, Japan and Europe. We were bloody lucky.
    We would stay with my mum and dad on the tour bus. We had our own little beds and we’d drive from city to city. It was fantastic fun. I sent Sammy and Fleur postcards from all the different places that we used to visit.
    When we were with my father on tour he would take us on to the stage during one of his songs and the crowd would go absolutely mental. He would be holding Jack in his arms and I would be holding on to one of his legs and Aimee would be clutching the other. Mum would be smiling proudly from the side of the stage.
    On a couple of the tours, the heavy-metal band Mötley Crüe would be supporting my dad. When my dad was due on stage, everyone who was with us went to be with him. So the guys from Mötley Crüe would come and babysit us on the tour bus. I suppose they weren’t your conventional babysitters. But they were bloody cool.
    I was lucky because I had Fleur with me on some of those trips, but being away