Fever 4 - DreamFever Read Online Free PDF Page B

graceful roll, stretches my arms above
my head, and stares into my eyes. I grind my hips up. He is hard and ready. He is
always hard and ready.
      "Be still, Mac. Bloody hell, would you just be still?"
      "But you're not in me," I complain.
      "And I'm not going to be."
      "Why not? You want me."
      "You need rest."
      "Rest later."
      He closes his eyes. A muscle works in his jaw. He opens his eyes. They glitter like
arctic night. "I am trying to help you."
      I arch up against him. "And I am trying to help you help me," I explain patiently. My
beast is dense sometimes.
       He growls and drops his face in my neck. But he doesn't kiss or nip it. I grunt my
displeasure.
     When he lifts his head again, he wears a mask of impassivity that does not promise
more of what I want. My hands are still trapped in his.
      I head-butt him.
       He laughs, and for a moment I think I have won, but then he stops and says, "Sleep,"
in a strange voice that seems to echo with many voices. It pressures my skull. I know
what it is. This beast has magic.
       I have magic, too, in a place in my head. I push back at him with it, hard, because I
want what he has and he will not give it to me. It angers me that he resists, so I push
into him, I try to make him do what I want him to do. With my beast magic, I search for
his weakness to use it against him, like he's trying to use mine. Then something gives
way, and abruptly I am no longer snug between the pleasure of silk at my back and man
at my front but--
       I stand in a desert. I am inside my lover's body, staring out from his eyes. I am
mighty, I am vast, I am strong. We breathe stiflingly hot night air. We are alone, so
alone. A scorching wind gusts across the desert, kicking up a violent sandstorm,
blinding us to all but a few feet ahead, driving thousands of tiny, needlelike grains into
our unprotected face, our eyes. But we make no move to shield ourselves. We welcome
the pain. We become the pain, unresisting. We breathe grains of sand. They burn our
lungs.
      Others flank us; still we are so alone. What have we done? What have we become?
Have they gotten to her? Does she know? Will she denounce us? Turn her face away?
       She is our world. Our highest star, our brightest sun, and now we are dark as night.
We were always dark, feared, above and beyond any law. But she loved us anyway. Will
she love us now? We who have never known uncertainty or fear now know both in what
is absurdly the moment of our greatest strength. We who have killed without conscience,
taken without question, conquered without hesitation, now question it all. Undone by a
single act. The mighty, whose stride has never faltered--we stumble. We fall to our
knees, throw back our head, and, as our lungs fill with sand, roar our outrage through
cracked and burning lips to the heavens, those mocking, fucking heavens--
      Someone is shaking me.
       "What are you doing?" he is roaring. I am in bed again, between silk and man. I still
feel the searing heat of the desert, and my skin seems gritty with sand. He stares down
at me, his face white with fury. And more. This beast that does not rattle is rattled.
      "Who is she?" I ask. I am no longer inside his head. It was hard to stay there. He
didn't want me there. He is very strong and cast me out.
      "I don't know how you did that, but you will never do it again," he snarls, and shakes
me again. "Do you understand?" He bares his teeth. It excites me.
      "You preferred her to all others. Why? Did she mate better?"
      It makes no sense.
      I am a fine beast.
      He should hold me above all others.
       I am here. Now. She is gone. I do not know how I know it, but she has been gone for
a very, very long time. Far longer than his "weeks."
      "Stay the fuck out of my head!"
      Fuck. There's a word I understand. "Yes, please."
      "Sleep," he orders in that strange, multilayered voice. "Now."
      I resist, but he keeps saying it over and over. After a time,