Fearsome Dreamer Read Online Free PDF

at her.
    Her heart was bursting with hope.
    â€˜There’s this woman. I can’t have her, see. She belongs to someone else. And that would be that, except I’ve loved her for ever, since we was children. And she … she’s been giving me hope. She looks at me, in a way I thought might be. You know. The same.’
    Til paused. It was Rue’s turn to stare at the tabletop. She felt a flash of dreaded disappointment, then a slow blush creeping up her cheeks. And of course, she saw so clearly now. How could he ever be interested in her? She was just a girl. He was a full-grown man, red-blooded prime. She’d be barely more than a child to him. A p’tite. He’d want a woman, wouldn’t he, with curves and knowing eyes and legs that went on for ever.
    Stupid men. Always want most what they can’t have; get it and then grow bored of it! Rue had seen enough of Fernie’s late-night visitors to know this truth. She felt anger and contempt and welcomed it. Better than the embarrassment. Easier. She struggled to keep silent.
    Til had transferred his gaze to the wall. ‘I’ve watched her with other men,’ he murmured. ‘Years and years I’ve watched her go through them. Hoping she’d see me better than before. But she never did. She got married and never gave me a second thought, until now. I’m not a bad man. I’m not. I’ve waited my time. I’ve done it, years I’ve done it. But I know she’s changed her mind now. It’s my time now.’ He turned to look at her then, so suddenly that he caught her gaze before she could drop it. His face had transformed; his dark, sad eyes burned. How lucky the woman who caused Til’s face to change like that. His desire, like a blast of heat from a furnace. Rue could imagine just how it would be with him.
    â€˜So what do you need from a hedgewitch?’ she said in a low voice. ‘Don’t you need to be talking to this woman to see what she wants, see whether she’ll leave her man for you?’
    Til was silent. She watched his arm across the table. It was close enough to hers to touch, if she reached out just a little. His nearness and maleness was overpowering; she could smell him, his essence.
    â€˜Maybe there’s something you could do,’ said Til. Rue thought she could hear an edge to his voice. Her anger flashed.
    â€˜If you’re thinking what I think you are, the answer’s no,’ she snapped. ‘And you should know better than to ask.’
    Til looked at her in surprise. ‘What do you mean?’ he said. He knew and he didn’t know. He was testing her.
    â€˜There’ll be no getting rid of husbands,’ said Rue. ‘In any fashion.’
    Til gazed at her strangely. She lost her fire. ‘What?’ she said, less boldly.
    â€˜You look so young on the out. But you’re a bit older inside, aren’t you?’ said Til.
    Rue felt a thrill in the pit of her belly. ‘I’ve seen some things,’ she said.
    They both fell silent. Rue thought about the picture they made, close together at the table, bathed in velvet shadow and lamplight stripes, a secret sat heavy between them. She wondered if they looked like lovers. She wished they did. She looked at Til then, and he at her, and there was a moment, she thought. But she saw it run from his mind just as quickly as it had come and felt younger and sillier than ever.
    â€˜I feel like an idiot coming here,’ said Til.
    â€˜Why?’
    â€˜I don’t know what to do. Tell me what I should do. Is there something … maybe you could give me something to forget her. Maybe there’s something for me to make it go.’
    Rue hesitated. There was always oublie. A rare little plant that, handled by someone who knew what they were doing, took memories from you. But Fernie thought it more dangerous than not. Who knew what would happen? Maybe you’d forget the wrong