Far From You Read Online Free PDF Page B

love your father. A lot.”
    “I know.”
    “And I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you.
    It’s all new to me.
    Like it is to you.”
    She sounded
    sincere.
    “From what he tells me,” she went on,
    “your mom was a great woman.”
    She paused.
    Then she said,
    “She sounds like someone I would have liked.”
    Ivy started to fuss,
    so Vic pulled up her sweater
    and put her there,
    secretly hoping,
    I’m sure,
    that Ivy was getting
    more than just comfort.
    “She was awesome,” I whispered
    as we listened to Ivy’s
    little suckling sounds.
    “You know those sketches?” I continued.
    “On my bed that day?
    Those were hers.
    I found them, locked in her desk.”
    “Really?
    Why were they were locked away?”
    I’d thought about that.
    About what that meant,
    and why she didn’t give them to me,
    even if they weren’t finished.
    I think it’s like my music.
    “Sometimes it’s just too personal,” I told Vic.
    I think she drew
    those sketches at a time
    when she was really hurting.
    Thinking about leaving me
    and wishing,
    on paper,
    she didn’t have to.
    Kinda like
    my songs.
    Me writing them,
    thinking about her leaving me,
    and wishing,
    through music,
    she didn’t have to.
    Except maybe
    Claire was right.
    Maybe I’ve been wishing
    long enough.

I hope he knows
    As snow filled the air,
    Blaze filled my thoughts.
    With every breath,
    my heart ached
    to see him again,
    to touch him again,
    to hold him again.
    What if
    I never saw him again?
    Did he know
    how much I loved him?
    Did he
    really
    and truly
    know?
    Victoria noticed
    when quiet tears
    trickled out.
    “Ali?”
    “I should have done it.”
    “Done what?”
    “He got us a hotel room.
    On his birthday.
    But I couldn’t do it.”
    She put Ivy
    in her car seat,
    then moved over
    so she sat
    next to me.
    “I just hope he knows
    how much I love him,” I told her.
    “Ali,” she said,
    “you don’t do it to prove your love.
    Saying no means you love yourself and him.
    Besides, he obviously adores you.
    He let you decide.
    And it didn’t change anything between you.
    Right?”
    I nodded.
    “The way you look at him?” she said,
    wrapping her arm around me
    and pulling me to her.
    “He knows.
    Believe me, he knows.”

day three
    The snow
    was getting
    deeper
    and
    deeper.
    The air
    was getting
    colder
    and
    colder.
    Our spirits
    were getting
    lower
    and
    l
    o
    w
    e
    r.
    “I have to go for help,” Victoria said,
    looking out the window
    at the vast display of whiteness.
    “You won’t make it.
    It’s too cold.”
    She looked at me.
    “I have to try.
    If I don’t, none of us will make it.”
    I offered to go,
    so it was me
    making the sacrifice
    instead of her.
    But she shook her head.
    “No. I got us into this.
    I’ll get us out.”
    “Victoria, you’re Ivy’s mother.
    She needs you.
    She needs your milk.
    I have to go.
    Don’t argue.
    I’m going.”
    I started to pull out clothes to wear,
    when she grabbed my arm.
    I had never seen her
    so stern.
    “Ali, I don’t have much milk left.
    And besides, it doesn’t matter.
    I’m the grown-up here.
    I can’t send you out there.
    I can’t.
    It has to be me.”
    I looked at her,
    at Ivy,
    and then
    at the monster
    outside.
    It felt like
    my insides
    were being ripped
    out of my chest.
    “Don’t go,” I sobbed.
    “Just stay here.
    They’ll find us, like you said.
    They will.
    We have to stay together.”
    She shook her head again.
    “If they haven’t found us by now,
    it means we’re hard to find.
    I’m going.
    And you will stay and take care of Ivy.
    You can do it.”
    Good thing
    Confident
    was her middle name,
    because it certainly
    wasn’t
    mine.

out of our cold hands
    We put layer
    upon layer
    of clothes
    on her,
    along with my
    boots.
    I hoped
    those boots
    would be as good to her
    as they had been
    to me.
    She had brought her heavy coat,
    which we were thankful for.
    I searched the car
    to see if there was anything
    else she could take
    to help her
    on her journey.
    Wishful