Fangs for Nothing (Vampire Hunting and Other Foolish Endeavors) Read Online Free PDF

freezing to warm will make your nose burn, but in the summer it’s just a cool and pleasant odor of fresh meat. Grandma usually doesn’t need me for the first thirty minutes of battle, so I’m free to wander around unencumbered by a chronically querulous senior citizen. Xander, naturally, wanted to head straight for the balcony. There’s really nothing up there. It’s just a place to look down and see all the shoppers, but Xander likes to hunch his back, swing his arms, and gallop about grunting “Oo-o-oo-o” like an oversized chimp ready to fling some poo. (Yeah, I know. It’s a private joke kind of thing.) Unless there are cute girls around, then he prefers to James Dean it, leaning on whatever ledge is available and taking in the view while thinking deep thoughts.
    The balcony was empty except for a mom and a couple of kids, so Xander gave them the full gorilla treatment. The mother was alarmed, but the eight-year-olds shrieked with delight. Xander hammed it up, grunting and blowing raspberries while he lurched from side to side, dragging his arms and beating his chest. For someone who is unreasonably good looking, Xander can sometimes act like a total dork. It’s one of the things I really appreciate about him. A lot of the time, good-looking people can take themselves waaay too seriously.
    The mom was just inching past us, heading for the stairs, dragging her children in her wake when suddenly Xander stood straight upright, his eyes wide. He smoothly adjusted his posture to more of a lothario slouch and half lidded his eyes. I casually turned my head to see a girl coming up the stairs. But she wasn’t just any girl; she was the girl of Xander’s dreams. Petite, long black hair with curled bangs giving her a hint of Bettie Page, pale skin, and eyes like giant emeralds. She wore a pale violet dress with matching stockings. Shiny black patent leather combat boots encased her tiny feet. She looked just like a smoldering pixie. Exactly Xander’s type. Or what I assumed was Xander’s type even though he’s never come right out and told me the kind of girl he finds most attractive. She appeared a little flushed, like she was chasing someone or being chased. She froze as soon as she saw us.
    “H ello,” Xander said, cocking his head to the side and letting his black hair fall over his eyes so he had an excuse to slowly smooth it off his face. The greeting caused the girl’s eyes to widen, quickly dart around the balcony,  and then narrow when she realized we were the only three up there. She locked eyes with me, giving me a penetrating look. It kind of felt like she wanted me to say something, but I really couldn’t think of anything more beyond Xander’s greeting.
    “Hi?” I hazarded.
    I guess this displeased her because she abruptly turned and disappeared down the stairs. Xander frowned. “That was weird.”
    “Yeah,” I agreed. It wasn’t the reaction Xander normally elicited from the opposite sex. “She sure was pretty.”
    “Not bad.”
    This made me laugh. “Oh, come on, Xander. She’s exactly your type.”
    “I don’t have a type.”
    “Yes, you do.”
    Xander shook his head. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
    “Play it that way if you want.” I shrugged. Looking over the balcony, I immediately met the impatient glaze of Grandma. She was staring directly at me. Raising her hand, she made a come here, immediately gesture. “Oh,” I said, while giving her a nod to let her know I was on my way. “Grandma needs me for something.”
    “I’ll go with you.”
    “Don’t you want to look for that girl?” I asked, surprised.
    “No,” he said firmly. After a moment, he added, “And even if I did, I wouldn’t go charging after her like a dog looking to hump her leg. If you want to meet a girl, you’ve got to play it cool.”
    I didn’t say anything, but I couldn’t stop from smirking as we headed for the stairs. I was sure that before we left the market, Xand er would