way. Impossible.” He raised one of his eyebrows, looking a little bit sinister. “Wait. I’ve got it. After you kiss me, anything goes. How’s that?”
“Well, that’ll probably be a—”
Before I could get the rest of the words out, he leaned across the table, took my head in his hands, and pulled me to him.
The kiss was fast. Race-car fast. But he was smooth. Like he knew what he wanted and nothing was going to get in his way. It was incredibly flattering.
Was it a good kiss? It was too quick to tell. But it was my first real kiss. And the way he looked at me? The way he held my hand across the table afterward? The way he made me laugh as he got up and did a jig to get the pizza when they called our number?
I couldn’t help but hope more kisses were in my future.
a little unreal
AS I PICKED THE ONIONS OFF MY PIZZA, HE ASKED ME, “SO WHY the fiery hot passion for the Foo Fighters?”
I figured there was no harm in telling him the story. Absentee parents seemed to have become as common as pesky dandelions. Besides, I didn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed about my dad the way I did about my mom or Dean. Talking about him seemed a little bit like talking about a movie star I admired from afar.
“I never knew my dad. He left before I was born, and my mom hated talking about him. So she never did. Whenever I asked, she simply told me he left us and I was better off without him.
“One day five or six years ago, I was helping my mom put away groceries and she was barking orders at me. My grandma had recently died, which meant my mom was the only familyI had left. I found myself thinking about my dad a lot—wondering what my life would have been like if he’d stuck around. And I don’t know why, but I suddenly had this strong desire to know something about him. Anything.
“So I held out the box of doughnuts she’d just bought and I asked her, ‘Did my dad love doughnuts as much as I do?’ Mom looked at me like I’d gone insane. Probably because my question came out of nowhere. But I didn’t let up. I begged her to tell me something about him.”
Nathan put his piece of pizza down and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Seems kind of cruel to have never told you anything about him. Why would she do that?”
I didn’t want this to be about her. Talking about my dad was one thing, talking about my mother, and her pathetic parenting skills, was a different thing entirely. I treaded carefully. “I don’t think they went out, if you can even call it that, very long. A relationship based on lust, if you will. I think, in her mind, it was just easier to write him off. Pretend he never existed.
“So, back to the original question. After lots of begging, Mom told me three things about my dad.” I ticked them off on my fingers as I went through the list. “His nickname was Buzz. His favorite movie at the time was Clerks . And he was a huge fan of Nirvana. Specifically, Dave Grohl, the drummer. So Dave kind of became my obsession. He’s the lead singer for the Foo Fighters now.”
Nathan picked up another piece of pizza. “So his favoritemusician became yours too? That’s . . . different. I don’t like anything my dad likes. I don’t even like the way he makes cereal.”
I took a bite of my pizza. Despite my efforts, the taste and smell of onions lingered. I wanted to spit it out, but I made myself chew. “In a way, when I listen to their music, I feel close to my dad. It’s the only thing I can share with him, you know?”
Nathan stared at me intently. I felt my cheeks get warm. “I know,” I said, looking down at my lap. “It’s weird.”
He reached over, cupped my chin in his hand, and lifted my face until our eyes met. I felt that electric buzz again. “Actually, it’s really sweet.” After a few seconds he let go and picked up his soda. “And I think you should check out my favorite band, Blue October. That way, when I’m not with you, they’ll remind you of me.”
I smiled.
William W. Johnstone, J. A. Johnstone