Falling Away Read Online Free PDF

summer evening, so the champagne’s a most welcome revitaliser. I gulp at it greedily.
    “So what are we celebrating?” asks Ben, raising the glass to his lips.
    “Do we need a reason to celebrate?” Dad asks, smiling. And you can feel his content. Ben’s presence usually has that effect.
    “Having you home, darling,” croons Mum over the rim of her glass. “Although perhaps if you’d brought Lily home, you wouldn’t be in such a mess. Maybe a little more effort on your part could have avoided this nasty predicament of yours.”
    Ben instantly tenses like a statue, warning her to back off. “She didn’t want to come, Mum. That relationship is over. ”
    “Yes, but women like to be chased, darling. They like to feel reassured you like them, or love them, whatever the case may be. You do love her don’t you, Ben darling? Get back there and prove it. For God’s sake, be a man and let her know you care.”
    His face darkens. “Women only need reassurance if they’re unsure of themselves, which as you know Mum, Lily isn’t.”
    “He’s right, Pam. Lily is a strong woman who knows her own mind,” says Dad, tipping up his champagne glass to drink.
    Ben scowls. “Thanks, Dad. There’s really no need to rub salt in my already gaping wounds.”
    “I’m just saying, darling,” Mum continues. “That if she truly means so much to you, get back to Sydney and work it out. Although I have to say, I didn’t much like her at first. But I accepted her into this family as one of my own, so I am a little peeved she’s done the wrong thing by you.”
    Ben exhales, obviously frustrated. “Just leave it, all right? We’ve had this conversation, several times, and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
    She nods her head slowly and swallows an oyster whole, grimacing at the biting sourness of the lemon. I smile at Ben, trying to lighten the mood as the awkward silence engulfs all of us.
    Dad swivels back to focus on the barbecue because it’s easier than making trivial conversation with Mum. Anything is easier than making conversation with Mum.
    She carries on regardless. “So, I was speaking with Kate Lindstrom’s mother today, Sam. Down at the Boatshed Café. Kate’s overseas as you know, actually making something of herself. Unlike you, Sam. I never thought this gap year was a good idea. But Kate’s working in a fashion store in London and has found herself a couple of flatmates in West Hampstead. It all sounds very exciting.”
    I sigh because her message is clear. Crystal clear. I’m a total disappointment and should be doing more than working in a café in a small coastal town. So much more. But nothing I do is enough to please her, let alone make her proud. And I’m not even sure I want that. To make her proud. So maybe it’s her acceptance I seek. Or perhaps it’s her love. Because even if it’s dark love, she’s still my mother. And that’s not something that’s ever going to change.
    Mum hands Dad the pork belly with a rather acidic expression. He casts it onto the sizzling hotplate, turning up the gas on the flickering flames.

 
     
    CHAPTER SIX
     
    I step off the ferry, the wharf weathered silver under my feet. Squinting my eyes in harsh shafts of light, I slide into my havaianas and head reluctantly uphill. Summer afternoon sunshine bounces from the ground and tourists sprawl slowly through the streets. When I slip my aviator sunglasses onto my nose I hear my name called loudly from behind.
    “Sammy! Sam!”
    I turn to see Emily running from the bus stop. Her English-rose skin is starting to freckle and her hair is streaked with blonde. She and Gem moved into a flat above the bay, and they spend endless days lying on the beach. Every spare moment, it would seem.
    “Hey, Em,” I call as she approaches.
    She’s breathless when she reaches me. “I want to ask you something before we get to work.” Her English accent lilts softly against the broad Aussie accents all around us. The