fall Read Online Free PDF Page B

the window and
looking out.   “I was going to do
it.   I was about to go in and speak
to the patient before starting anesthesia.   But I had this sensation that it was just wrong.   That I wasn’t supposed to do this.   And once I realized I wasn’t going to
operate on her, it was like this huge weight came off my shoulders.”   He glanced at Ivy and laughed.   “I know it sounds crazy.”
    “Well…a little bit, maybe,” she
admitted.   She sat down in one of
the chairs and looked at him.   “So
then you called Xavier?”
    “Which is kind of perfect,” Cullen told
her.   “After all, he’d been the one
who wanted to operate on Jillian before.   And I’d refused to hand her case over to him.   Now I can make up for that.   It’s all coming back full-circle, don’t
you see?”
    His looked expectantly at her.   Ivy knew he wanted her to support his
decision.
    She licked her lips.   “I…I don’t know.”
    His brow creased.   “Don’t know what?”
    She shifted uneasily beneath his
gaze.   “Something about this just
seems.   I don’t know,” she shrugged.
    “Tell me,” he said stiffly.
    “It seems wrong,” she replied.
    “Wrong.”   He made a face like he’d stepped in dog
crap.   “Because I don’t want to kill
some poor woman, performing surgery on her out of fear?   Fear that I might get punished
or—“
    “Or go to jail,” Ivy reminded him.   “If you don’t do it, they’re going to
make sure you get put away.”
    “They can’t do anything of the sort.”
    “Cullen, you have every right to make
your own decisions.”
    “I know that, thanks,” he shot back.  
    Ivy got up and went to him by the
window.   She tried to take his hands
but he pulled away from her.   “Tell
me what’s going on, Cullen.”
    “I already told you.”   He refused to look at her.
    “You never told me the whole truth.   About Jillian’s surgery.   About what exactly went wrong.”
    He turned and looked at Ivy,
stricken.   “Why would I do that?”
    “Because, it’s important.”
    He ran his fingers through his hair and
moved away from her.   “No, I don’t
think it is important.”   He shook
his head.   “No, I’ve made my goddamn
decision.”
    “Cullen,” she said softly.
    Ivy didn’t know how, exactly, but
something told her that Cullen was holding back a vital piece of
information.   And she was determined
to find out why.
    “Stop pushing me,” he said, slamming his
hand on the desk.   It was like a
thunderclap in the small office.   His blue eyes were wide and intense, so intense that she stepped
backwards.
    But then she remembered something.
    I’m
married to him.   He’s my husband.
    And so she drew herself up to her full
height and stepped forward.   Then
she stepped forward yet again, maintaining eye contact with him.   “I’ll push you when you need pushing,”
she said.  
    “Is that so?” he asked, his lips hardly
moving.
    “Yes, it’s so.”   She glared back at him.
    “Fine,” he said, smiling an unhappy smile
that was more of a grimace.   “You
want all the details.   Why, I can’t
fathom.   But okay, Ivy.   I’ll tell it all.   How I cut her open, cracked her skull,
and she wasn’t ready.   She had an
underlying condition.”
    “What underlying condition?”
    “Weak blood vessel that led to a
spontaneous cerebral hemorrhage during the procedure,” he said.   “And I wasn’t able to get control of
it.   She died, and I should have
known, Ivy.   But I didn’t know
because of my ego, because I refused to step back and let anyone else have
control for even a moment.”
    “How could you have known?” she asked.
    He stared at her.   “It’s my job to know,” he replied.
    “But how?   How would you have known?   Did you miss it on a test or something?”
    Cullen didn’t answer.   He wiped his mouth with the side of his
hand.   “Don’t,”
  he said, turning away from her once
again.
    “Cullen, answer