Fake (A Pretty Pill) Read Online Free PDF Page A

by putting one foot in front of the other.” He says softly, holding me tighter.
    “I’m tired.  How do I put one foot in front of the other when I’m too tired to do it.”
    “You lean on me and we shuffle along till you regain your strength and can stand on your own two feet again.” He reasons.
    “Fuck Ben, why do you fucking care so much?”
    “Because you’re the best person I know .  You just have some fucked up qualities about you.  But at least they’re visible and out there; not hidden like some narcissistic assholes I’ve met.” he explains.  “I deal better with being able to see the bad shit.”
    “Ben,” I squirm , trying to get out of his hold because I’m remembering his house; how I fucked up his house and destroyed his property.  “I fucking destroyed your house.” I lament, twisting like this is a wrestling match.
    “That’s what insurance is for.  Now stop being an asshole and relax.” he says, leaning back and holding me by the biceps away from him; staring me in the eyes and challenging me to reject him and his peace offering.   “I trust it was a onetime thing – it’s not every day you get to have your heart broken.”
    I just cry.  I break down even further and cry, repeatedly saying that I’m sorry.
     
    ***
     
    Jade wanders in after Ben leaves.   Despite her obvious discomfit caused by her pregnancy, she pulls Ben’s chair across to mine so that we can both sit there and watch the people enjoying the sunshine outside.  From the moment she walks in I feel peace and calm.  She doesn’t talk at first, she doesn’t need to.  She places her arm around my shoulders and pulls me into her chest, where she kisses my hair repeatedly and murmurs soft shushing sounds; while smoothing her hand along my brow, scratching the line of my hair.  I love how she does this.  She’s always done this.  Her chest is like a pillow beneath my head and I can hear her heart beat solidly beneath me.  The whole experience is grounding and relaxing.
    We stay like this for a long time.
    And then she begins to talk.
    “I love you Silas.”
    “I love you too, Jade.”
    “You k now, you’re not just my brother; you’re also my kid.  I raised you, and I did the best I could with what I had.” She says softly, lovingly.
    “I bet you regret it now.”
    “No.  I’d never regret you.  How could I regret having an intense and complete love for someone who feels the same for me?” she asks.
    “You love Ben; that’s intense.” I argue.
    “I could never love Ben the same way I love you.  You’re my flesh and blood.  I look at you and I see what I made into a man reflected back at me.  The sense of accomplishment is overwhelming.” she whispers.
    “You love me more than Ben?”
    “No, just differently; just as intense, but still different.  And you both drive me nuts, in case you’re wondering.” she smirks at me.
    “Jade; Shae doesn’t want me.  She broke my heart.” I begin to t ear up.  It’s been four days.  During the first stage of my detainment, they wouldn’t allow Ben and Jade in because I was too much of a risk, so they said.
    “I know.  But you know what?  She’s silly.  Because she ’s thrown away the best thing that ever happened to her.”
    “I’m a fuck up.  A psycho .  She can always do better than me.”
    “No. You’re hard sometimes, but you’re genuine and easy to love.  You give people everything you have to give, Silas.  You’re a rough diamond amongst pearls.  You look like a dirty stone amongst the sheen, but your value far exceeds the silky dull shine of a pearl.”
    “Why do you say stuff like that?” I ask her, shifting my head so I can look at her.
    “Because it’s true.  You’ll find someone who can buff you up right and see you for all you’re really worth. Someone who has the strength not only to be with you, but to stand beside you and defend the love you have together.”
    “I just want Shae.  She’s all