remission, but the chance of that happening and staying true are just not as great as one would hope.
Being in remission myself was a happy yet depressing feeling. I was happy that I was healthy for once, but at the same time I was quick to jump on any little thing out of the ordinary. If I got a cold or a fever, I'd overreact and start wondering if it was back. I was still held down by my cancer. It was like a huge storm cloud that follows you around and hangs over your head. Every moment in my life was overshadowed by it.
Thinking back about how I was just a few years ago. Seeing how one word spoken to me had dissolved into dust. I lied to myself, and tried to stay focused, but as realization hit me I was completely lost. My path had shifted and I jumped around so much that I lost track of everything and everyone around me. Life had played the ultimate trick on me and robbed me of so much more than I had realized. I had lost more than I had gained, and as much as I tried to get it back, the more I realized I needed to let go of it. I needed to let go of the happily ever after and find a new one, something based on my reality.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself and finally made it to work. I shoved all the depressing thoughts out of my head. I was in my happy place, the place where I wasn’t different. I was just like everyone else.
I got out of my car and shook the remaining depressing thoughts from my head. I tried not to think about how Becca would react to our conversation at Cups. I walked inside and went directly to the dressing room, set my stuff down at an empty station and went to work putting on my make-up. When I was satisfied with my face, I continued on my routine, reaching for a fresh set of pasties as Melody dropped down in the chair next to mine.
“Hey girl! Heads up, we got a new girl, Tasha, and she is a fucking bitch.” She sighed, checking her make-up in the mirror.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, and she’s not new to this. You can tell she’s danced before, and she is relentless. She has already gotten into it with a few of the other girls over music and their regulars.”
“Great.” I grinned, trying to seem interested in the conversation.
“Like, seriously, her and Eve have already gotten into it and Eve is like one of the nicest girls here. And they are both working tonight.” She applied another layer of lipstick and smacked her lips together before getting back up and walking out the door.
When I finished putting my pasties on, I walked back to my station and sat down. I started pulling out my outfits trying to decide on what to wear when a tall girl with long, curly, red hair came rushing through the door.
This must be the new girl. I went back to choosing an outfit, and settled on a red and white mini dress that just covered the bottom of my ass. I glanced at myself in the mirror to see how it looked. It was a halter-top dress that looked as though it was red and had been splattered with white paint. It had a V-neck that stretched down to my belly button. I adjusted the top of it until I had it perfect. I wore a red T-bar and pulled on a matching red garter. I pulled my wig on and straightened it, making sure the elastic was pulled tight to my head before hooking it into place. I ran a comb through it and checked my hair in the mirror. When I was happy with my appearance, I slipped my feet into a pair of white strappy six-inch heels. I gave myself one last look in the mirror, and plastered a smile on my face before walking out of the dressing room.
I walked up to the bar to pay my house fee, found an empty bar stool and sat down. I turned around so that my back was against the bar and looked around the room. The place was actually pretty full for it being early in the night. I sat and watched the other girls who had worked the first shift. Keeping an eye out for who was being more generous than the rest. As I scanned the room I noticed a guy sitting in the back corner. He looked