Exposed: A Novel Read Online Free PDF

But I couldn’t say no when he approached me, with that camera in my face and everything, so I pretended to enjoy myself. My heartbeat clogged my ears, softening the music Andy played in the background. The camera, in my face every five seconds, made it hard to hide my tears. Or maybe Andy didn’t care about my tears. He ordered me around. Move this way and that. Do this, no, no, wait, do that. Somehow my body listened as my mind imagined my wedding dress stained with my blood. No one would want me now. No one.
    The sheets turned crimson and I thought for sure I’d bleed to death. But Andy smiled and reassured me, touching my cheek between takes. “This is so good,” he said. “I didn’t know you were a virgin.”
    The room disappeared. Andy disappeared. Memories replayed in my mind. Mom passed out on the living room couch. Her first boyfriend since Daddy died. His breath. The mayonnaise on his mustache. I could see it all like it happened yesterday. He touched me. And I thought for sure he stole my virginity.
    Andy tossed a rag in my face. I soaked it with my tears, hoping when I lifted it from my eyes I’d be alone. Free to cry. I tossed the tear-filled cloth to the side of me and looked at Andy. He beamed. Shame and pride tugged my heart. But I gave in to pride. It’s easier to give in to pride than to fight it, and at that point, I didn’t have the energy to fight anything.
    “You didn’t tell me you were a virgin,” he said, sitting beside me.
    I nodded, biting my lip to hold back more tears.
    “You’ll be fine, sweetheart.” He brushed my hair behind my ear and ran his fingers to my chin. “I’ll take care of you.”
    I didn’t believe him, but I chose to anyway.

Chapter 5 Ally
    June in Maryland, at least where I live, is like preparation for weeks of sweat. June usually isn’t so bad, but get to July and you long for an air conditioner. Not Verity though, she didn’t use central air, even though she had no problem affording it.
    Which is why, most times, I chose to meet her somewhere else. Although I regretted it when we were sitting in the café at Barnes & Noble and she said, way too loud, “Jessie and porn? Really?”
    A few heads turned. Some tried not to turn their head, but I saw their ears perk up.
    “So, what did you do?” Verity said, still loud.
    “Be a little quieter,” I said through my teeth.
    “Sorry,” she whispered. “What happened?”
    “I freaked out. My emotions are unexplainable, really. I know, funny for a counselor, but it’s like nothing makes sense to me.” I paused. “I wonder what my co-workers would think of me. I didn’t expect this one. I didn’t realize how much insecurity I’ve had all this time. Unless it’s new.”
    “Well, at least he didn’t have an affair. And besides, I always told you fairy-tales didn’t exist, but you chose to believe Jessie was perfect and your marriage would be, too.”
    Not in a million years did I think Verity would know more about love than me. I longed for romance my entire life. I read books, so many of them, to know how to be the perfect wife. She made fun of me our entire lives for dreaming of love and marriage. Used to tell me love was nothing more than a choice. “I never thought Jessie was perfect—”
    “Yes, you did.”
    “No, I didn’t. I thought he was perfect for me, not perfect. No one is.”
    “Well, porn isn’t that big of a deal. I used to think so, but when we first got married I couldn’t stop him from watching it, so I watch it with him now. At least this way I know what he’s doing. It’s not that bad, really.”
    I closed my eyes and rubbed my forehead, hoping the perked ears around me couldn’t hear our conversation.
    “What? You act like I’m crazy or something.”
    “An understatement.”
    “Seriously, you should watch it with him.”
    “That’s not an option. I don’t condone that stuff and never will. You’re probably just doing that to make yourself feel better. Some kind of