Every Bride Needs a Groom Read Online Free PDF

crime here too,” Jasper said. “Didn’t you hear that Bobby Jo Henderson got arrested for tipping cows in Doc Henderson’s field?”
    â€œHe wasn’t arrested. The sheriff gave him a warning. And that was just in fun.”
    â€œTry telling that to the cows.” My father jabbed me with his arm, which sent my fork flying out of my hand, across the table, and onto the floor next to Widow Harrison at the next table. I hollered out a quick apology, but before I could remedy the problem myself, the waitress showed up.
    â€œSaw the whole thing,” she said. She passed a clean forkto me and made her way to a nearby table to clear it for the next guests.
    â€œI could never live in the city,” Mama said. “You can’t leave your doors and windows open.”
    â€œOh, that reminds me.” Dewey dove into an animated story about a skunk wandering into Reverend Bradford’s house through the doggie door.
    â€œWell, that’s not commonplace,” Mama argued. “And I’d rather have a skunk in my house any day than a burglar.”
    â€œI might rather have the burglar.” Pop laughed. “Less mess to clean up afterward.”
    Mama rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath.
    â€œHey, doesn’t Aunt Alva still live in Dallas?” Beau licked the butter off of his fingers as he glanced Queenie’s way.
    You could’ve heard a pin drop at that question. My grandmother glared at him. “We don’t talk about Aunt Alva.” Queenie dabbed at her lips, smearing her lipstick in the process.
    â€œWhy not?” Beau looked perplexed.
    I gave him a “shush” look. I’d never figured out the story about Queenie’s older sister, but this clearly wasn’t the time to ask.
    â€œSo, we can’t talk about the Presbyterians and we can’t talk about Aunt Alva.” Dewey chuckled. “I guess that limits the conversation to Doc Henderson’s cows and the criminal element taking over the city of Fairfield.”
    â€œCriminal element, pooh.” Mama shook her head. “Such an exaggeration.”
    The expression on Queenie’s face showed her relief that we’d switched gears from talking about Alva. “I still say it’s safer here,” she said. “You couldn’t pay me enough to live in the city. We might have a problem with skunks, but those city folks have to worry about snakes.”
    â€œSnakes in the city?” I asked.
    â€œYes.” My grandmother’s eyes widened. “They’re small. They get in tiny spaces. City dwellers have snakes in their homes and don’t even know it.”
    â€œOnly the kind you need to unstop your toilet,” Pop said. “I can sell you one of those at the hardware store.”
    â€œSpeaking of toilets . . .” Mama took a teensy-tiny bite of her lemon pound cake. “When you live in the city, you can’t even flush your toilet without the folks downstairs knowing about it. Folks live on top of one another in condos and such.”
    â€œKind of like we do at our house right now?” Dewey asked.
    â€œOh, that reminds me, I need to put a new handle on that upstairs toilet,” Pop said. “It’s been acting finicky.”
    Queenie rolled her eyes. “My point is, people are pressed in like sardines in the city. No space to move around or have privacy.”
    â€œPrivacy?” Jasper snorted. “We have that here?”
    â€œIn theory,” Pop said. “In theory.”
    â€œGood luck finding a Dairy Queen in the city,” Mama added. “I hear they’re not building them in metropolitan areas anymore.”
    This led to a lengthy discussion about ice cream, which caused Pop to say that he needed a piece of coconut pie. He returned moments later with a slice of chocolate pie in his right hand and a slice of coconut in his left. “Couldn’t make up my mind,”