Evan Arden 03 Otherwise Unharmed Read Online Free PDF

to come to him if I got to the point of breaking, and I hadn’t.
    The problem was once you have crossed that line, you don’t exactly think rationally.  It was sort of the definition of breaking.
    My throat seized up.  I couldn’t look at him and opted to look straight down at the table instead.  My lungs couldn’t seem to get enough air, and I had to force myself to breathe through my nose.  I balled my hands into fists to keep them from shaking and making the chains rattle.
    Rinaldo cleared his throat, and I glanced up.
    “I’m sorry, sir,” I said with an uncharacteristically shaky voice.
    Rinaldo just stared at me, his eyes flickering from the emotionless façade he was trying to maintain to fury.   There was tightness around his eyes and definite tension in his forearms.  His fingers flexed once as he leaned back in the metal chair.
    “ We’ll have that discussion another time,” he said with promise.  “Don’t doubt that.  For now, I’m here to introduce you to your attorney.”
    “ Michael Beard,” the young man said.  “I specialize in cases where the defendant has suffered from PTSD.  I understand you’ve been given this diagnosis?  Can you tell me precisely when?”
    I looked over the man in the suit.  He wasn’t much older than I was, and I doubted he was beyond thirty.  For a moment, I considered that Rinaldo had found me a shit attorney to make sure I went away for a long time, but that didn’t make sense.  If he wanted me out of the picture , he wouldn’t be here at all, let alone with a lawyer in tow.  He knew all my money was cash and inaccessible from inside, and he would have just left me to rot with a public defender if he wasn’t serious about getting me out.
    What he’d do to me after I was release d, well, that was anyone’s guess.  He wouldn’t have spent the time and effort to get me out to kill me, though.  That would be a waste of money when he could accomplish the same thing cheaper with a bribe to a guard or an inmate.
    Michael Beard was all business —that was for sure.  He waited patiently for me to answer his question and didn’t seem to be the least bit nervous or rushed.  Considering Rinaldo must have told him who I was to his organization, I was somewhat surprised at how calm he was.  Often, when I was first introduced to someone, they would be all fidgety around me.
    “ Answer him, Arden,” Rinaldo commanded when I didn’t respond right away.
    I tried not to focus on the use of my last name as I swallowed, nodded, and faced the lawyer.
    “When I returned from Germany,” I told him.  “That was three years ago.  I was discharged in May of that year.”
    Michael made some notes on his legal pad.   I could almost see him in one of those little school desks, jotting down notes during an English Lit class with his knees all tucked up underneath the desktop.
    “ Were you medicated as part of your treatment?”
    “ Yeah, for a while.”
    “ Do you still take drugs as part of treatment, either prescribed or illicit?”  Michael’s eyes watched mine as I answered, and I had the distinct feeling he was watching for any untruthfulness.
    “ No.”  I leaned back in the chair and planned on keeping my gaze on his, but the clang of the handcuffs distracted me.  I clenched the arms of the chair and took a couple of deep breaths.
    “ Do you have nightmares or recurring thoughts about what happened to you?”
    I swallowed hard.
    “Yes.”
    “ How often?”
    “ Every time I close my eyes.”
    I didn’t miss Rinaldo’s narrowed eyes as I admitted this to the attorney.  Yes, I had been too broken to come to him after I had killed Terry and Bridgett, but it was obvious the nightmares had been getting worse for a while.  I hadn’t told him about those.  Even when I confessed that Bridgett had slept in my bed with me, I never told him the reason why.
    “ Do you ever feel numb?”
    “ Most of the time.”
    “ Have you ever thought about