staring off into the sunrise. I’m ready for a clichéd comment on the weather.
“Seamus, none of us can come up with a wrong answer,” he says and looks off into the distance. While Dad groups us all together, I know that he must be looking to me to help him understand the reality of our situation.
The fear and sadness in my eyes tells him what I can’t find the voice to say.
“What I mean is that you didn’t put the answers in that database, you are only pulling them out. Don’t be afraid of what you find,” he says. It’s the same calm voice he used when I learned to ride my bike. “I think that Jane was afraid of what she would find in there. So she hid it from us and faked a plan to keep us all busy and moving. The plan helped her feel in control, but accomplished very little.”
“Dad, I don’t know if I can do this,” I say. I want to cry but I can’t. “I might not be able to find the answers, and even if I do, I might not be able to make them happen.”
“That’s okay.” He is completely sincere. “Mom and I talked last night. She reminded me that each of us has knowledge and skills that might help. We are all responsible for deciphering this database, not just you. The kids are going to be having a movie day today. The rest of us are going to unravel this puzzle. If you don’t find the answer, maybe Liam or Sofie or Mom will.”
“Well, probably not Liam,” I say. I can’t help but tease my brother.
Dad slaps my back and puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him “Right, probably not Liam.”
“I’m going to head to the lab,” I say a moment later. The combination of coffee and my Dad’s pep talk has me ready to plow forward. I’m ready to start reading even though I have no chapter or page number to start at.
“I’ll come by soon.” Dad may have to wait for the others, to communicate his plan for the day to each as they wake up. “Oh, and Seamus... I love you.”
“Thanks Dad. I love you too.”
I’m surprised that the lab feels so comfortable. For the last few weeks, it had felt like a prison. After my reactor was built, the time I spent here was forced and uninteresting. Then for a while it felt like nothing, a cold collection of stuff just around me. Now it feels like home. I know where everything is and have the freedom to do whatever I want. But reading is on my agenda for today.
Going through screen after screen of information, it is laughable what our country considered “top secret.” I’ve seen a report from a guy who claimed he could prove there is rainfall on a planet outside our solar system. There is another one that says the material found in Roswell, New Mexico, originated from outside the atmosphere but was terrestrial in composition and man-made. How could any of this affect our national security?
I wonder if other countries kept discoveries specific to their geographies as classified as the United States did. How far along might the human race be if we had had a true global discovery community? No politics or threat of violence. If America’s subatomic research had gone into the same database as Japan’s deep-sea discoveries? Students, housewives and scientists alike free to read, learn and hypothesize on a myriad of topics.
Instead we had politicians and governments that created fear and distrust. Instead of marveling at the unknown, every new discovery was assumed to be capable of destruction. The simplest things contorted into potential weapons of mass destruction. The global ruling class may have been representative of society, but they did not represent the best of humankind.
After some more reading, I need another cup of coffee. It’s only midmorning but I need help keeping my eyes open. For some reason, the coffee in the lab is not as good as the coffee in the dorm. It’s like it tastes bad to remind me that it is only another lab tool. While I’m contemplating a walk across the parking lot for some good coffee,